What Is It With Fingering? An Essay?

……whaaaat?

In all seriousness, in trying to read this, my eyes could not keep on the text. I had to force myself to keep going back and re-read, and even then, I have no clue what the fuck this is.

what a pointless comment

yeah, it's a bit aimless and uneven.

it article u read

mm thought catalog your heteronormativity is so edgy today, lemme get in there and then subtly smell my knuckles to make sure you're the right kind of whorish this morning

“So, perhaps the stimulation a guy gets from fingering a girl is in feeling the hot, wet, tightness (hopefully) around his fingers and maybe seeing her get pleasure (hopefully) from it.”

Correct! But I'm sure there's a bunch of men with odd fetishes that give them an entirely different reason for fingering. Oh, that is fun to type. Fingering. Mmm, boner time.

i feel the same way about chelsea fagan articles but how uncomfortable would be if i just said so right to her proxy face

Yeah, anonymous people commenting negatively on my work makes me really uncomfortable. Good thing I don't write on the internet.

A wise man once said “Pleasure is often spoiled by describing it”

nice comment u write

I blame your lack of understanding for the simple and carnal mind due to your huge mental capacity. Rather than spending all your time in rich mahogany studies, you should get out more.

You missed several important facets of fingering. First of all,
fingering does not just involve fingers IN the vagina…. it often (and
should, in my book) involve clitoral stimulation, which is what makes it
so potentially amazing for women! It can also go terribly wrong…. too rough,
too direct, or off target can be painful and/or very frustrating. Fingering also happens to be the only way I get off, whether as an
independent act or during intercourse. If you're going to use the term 21 times, let's be a little more thorough!

Fingering is the equivalent of a handjob. Guys do it because they'd rather not give oral just like many girls don't want put their mouths on a penis. Mostly, I think guys do it because they think it will be an immediate precursor to sex.

I feel like it's as pointless as a handjob – because that's what it equates to. Personally, I don't get it nor do I like it very much.

I've written articles about all manner of random things, but did we really need to wonder why fingering is a good thing? Speaking as a hetero guy, I like it for the same reason I like going down on a girl – I get to watch her get pleasure from things I'm doing.

Really, sometimes it is THAT simple. Plus, that whole bit with the “whorefactor” is uncomfortable to read. Its like the author is trying to thread the needle between self-deprecation and wise sage but instead ends up sounding naive and arrogant.

Still, the piece got me thinking, and there are some good lines. Enjoyable to read, as with most stuff on TC.

I'd like to point out, Chelsea, that I adore your work on here. Definitely in my top three favourote TC writers. :)

Hey, thanks! And the simple  joy of having a little Chelsea Fagan comment party in the middle of an article about fingerbanging is not lost on me.

I like fingering BECAUSE it pleases a woman i'm with. I don't care about any social rules or norms involved with this – who gets to tell me what to do with my time, with my body? The answer (duh) is me and the person i'm with at the time. None others.

Stop labeling people as whores or sluts just because they get theirs more often than you. Sex is for pleasure and mutuality – not for the judgement of others. The only people who would CARE enough about some else's sex life to pass judgement on it are mentally still in high school. 

Grow up, sophomore.

I can't be the only person here who uses fingers (mine, his, hers) for g-spot stimulation? I mean, that's the best thing about it: the ability to make the “come-hither” gesture directly on the g-spot, preferably combined with oral or vibrator clit stimulation. With the right partner, that combination (g-spot centered fingering + oral) absolutely reduces me to a moaning, quivering mass.

you could probably write the same article about hand jobs on boys. 
the answers to all these questions are obvious to anyone that's ever been fingered/fingered someone else and i really resent the “whore factor” section. you can't just excuse that bit by saying “not literally lol!” jesus.

ROFL!

FINGERBANG PARTY.

APART-THIGHS

Next in the series:

“What Is It With Oral Sex?”"What Is It With Vaginal Intercourse?”"What Is It With Roller Coasters?”

What does that say about you, you ask? You probably need to loosen up get laid.

laughing and thinking about fingering

Bravo!

Reading an essay about fingering is possibly one of the highlights of my internet day.

it's a good question. I try not to touch anyone at all on any part of their anatomy with any part of my anatomy until I decide “it's okay to have sex with this person now,” in which case I unzip my pants, pull my flaccid penis through my jeans, wait for an erection, settle my “lover” into the basement sex swing, and proceed to have sex with her while being careful not to let any other parts of our anatomy to make contact, because that would be pointless and disgusting.
AM I RIGHT?!

What about 'ass-fingering', how is this 'characterised'?

Some of us prefer it to head, thankyouverymuch.

The fake nose itch is a move I fully endorse. 

Can't decide if I'm happy or sad that I didn't read 'finger-blast' anywhere.

I'd like to add my thoughts about fingering, being a woman and normally receiving it from men (usually only one at a time). I LOVE it. It's partly testing the waters, as you say. If a man is bad at kissing, I don't take it further. If he's bad with his hands, it could also be a bad sign (however I have had men who were wonderful with their hands and terrible in bed). I really value a man who is good with his hands, and I sometimes even prefer a good old-fashioned fingerbang to oral.

Part of it for me is the power thing. I love the feeling of a man touching me in just the right way, and doing in a way that leaves me begging for more. I also get off on the fact that I don't have to do anything for that moment in time except just enjoy being fingered, and give a few directions here and there. At that moment when my g-spot is being tickled just right, I'm in heaven. I like that he's detached from the experience somewhat, and getting no pleasure, just watching me. I enjoy it for the fact that it is something he is doing TO me, and for that moment, the focus is on me.

So, he's doing it TO me, but it's not the same as if he was doing it with his dick. I enjoy the slightly taboo feeling of being manipulated (literally) like an object. Naturally, the same goes the other way, and I'm delighted to put my all into pleasuring a guy while he just sits back and takes it, before we both dive in.

Sadly, many of the men I've slept with have been terrible with their hands. Not just at fingering, but at touching the whole area in general, and especially bad with my poor old clit. I'm fine with coaching them through it, but sometimes I'd just like something done RIGHT.

I like the formatting of this essay. Good headings. A number list. Well done. I do have a small bone to pick regarding punctuation? For example, for most of your full sentence parentheses you correctly include punctuation within the parentheses but then for “(And she can’t get pregnant)” there is nothing. Also, on some occasions you have placed your periods outside of your quotation marks. Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks, even inside single quotes. If you are American, that is. If you don't follow this rule then you are not American. Is that what you want us to think?

I think the real lessons to be learned here are:

1) people like doing various sexxxy things because it makes them feel good in some way.
2) guys can be fingered, too.
3) heteronormativity is boring.

I like the layout of your comment. Number lists are easy to follow.

fingers in my vagina > penis in my vagina, just saying. fingers are dexterous and flexible, and have a much wider variety of strength and pressure to stimulate all up on my gspot, whereas penises are usually all bangin up on my cervix which gets really painful.

i love fingering whores then smelling my fingers and wiping whatever's left on some sort of baked good and making a sandwich with it. chelsea is my favorite flavor…

Be careful. If I turned a man down just based on his fingerskills I would have missed out on some of the best mouthskills ever.

nope

if fingering is 'out', how should we feel about fisting?

*Mismatch

Screw that, I go for the full on lick my finger like a popsicle.

You totally stole this idea…

http://wewomp.com/?p=419

And yours also wasn't as good….

http://wewomp.com/?p=498  <—This can explain why something like this occurs.  BBS..all day, everyday

sure.. this was stolen… because EVERYONE reads the we womp blog. hahahahaha.

and we can tell everyone reads it from the staggering 1 comment.

excuse me mother fucker, sorry we started our blog three months ago. maybe not everyone reads our blog, but at least we can come up with our OWN ideas for articles.

First time commenter on thought catalog, here. But, it only takes one read to plagiarize.

Well I wrote the other fingering article and frankly I'm just glad there are other girls out there who are dedicated to exploring the depths of fingering. Loved the article, Brings me back to my first time…back row at legally blonde 2.

And yes, I'm still just as classy and still have the same excellent taste in cinema.

first off. dont call people names. its just not nice. if you did that in real life i would bitch smack you. 

also, the only way that idea could be original to your site or the author is if you are insinuating that you either invented masturbation or invented writing about masturbation. both claims are bullshit. 

not everyone is scouring obscure internet blogs and looking for essays to rip off.  

http://theworldsbestever.com/b…

Hahahaha. This made me laugh and gave me a raging lady boner at the same time. Well-done.

Also, worth noting? Fingering best accompanies oral. They are not mutually exclusive.

apologies for the name calling, BG. i've had a few cups of coffee today and im all sorts of jacked up. i see L8dy Turbo extended an olive branch above and i suppose i can do the same. truthfully, im just bored at work and felt like causing a ruckus.

all i'd like to see is someone to do a response article on this site that presents the other end of the spectrum, cause let me tell ya hand jobs arent exactly an enjoyable experience either. perhaps with our powers combined we can put an end to the suffering of both sexes once and for all.

if you need some “inspiration,” take a look:

http://wewomp.com/?p=363

this is without a doubt the worst thing i've ever read on thoughtcatalog. possibly the most depressing article i've ever read on sex. crazy thought but maybe guys like doing it because they like doing it, maybe girls like doing it because they like doing it, maybe it's 2011 AND WE DON'T HAVE TO CALL GIRLS WHORES FOR HAVING AND ENJOYING SEX ANYMORE.

why no mention of the clitoris? I thought fingering wasn't only penetrating but stimulating the clitoris also… I guess that would be “played with”? Seems fingering w/o “playing” isn't as orgasm producing.

I can't help but feel that, if things like this are your primary concern, there are some issues you may have that need to be resolved. I am sure that there are some numbered lists out there that might help you.

Because fingering is such a rare and bizarre sexual act that only one blog in the history of life itself can ever have meditated upon it.

… unlike your insightful comment?

“They like doing it because they like doing it.”
That's a real nice tautology you got yourself there.

This essay (if we must call it that) just comes off as written by someone who has a vagina and no clue about how it works. If a guy reaches down and she's not wet, that doesn't mean it's a “mismatch” or that she's not aroused– a lot of women have a hard time getting wet, that's what lube is for. Also, this tightness vs. looseness thing? I get why guys love that kung-fu grip shit, but vaginas are incredibly elastic. A guy fitting a few fingers in there and declaring the girl unfuckable because she can take it and is probably a whore (I am aware that I'm extrapolating from your piece, but this line of thought is not uncommon) is a shame. Plenty of girls have had lots of lovers and keep things tight down there because they were born with a smaller vag. 

And this: “If a girl lets you finger her within hours of knowing her she could easily be a whore.”

?!?!?!?!?

I don't think I need to get into how bad this is, but I love how few people consider a guy to be a “whore” if he tries to bang a girl he barely knows. I'd call this scenario being opportunistic; if I have a guy who's hot and willing to give it to me, you bet your ass I'm not walking away from that out of fear he might think of me as a whore.

Seriously, TC, get in line– I'm all for writing about sex, but this reads like a 12-year-old boy wrote it. It's badly written and incredibly immature in tone. But maybe it's bait and we're all stupid for biting.

ass-fingering is characterised as AWESOME

What about the lesbians?

Dearest Extie Ecks,
I enjoyed the youthful and inquisitive feel of this article.
I, too, frankly was wondering about the Fingering thing. It's an exciting, yet foreign concept for me.
Sincerely,
An Anonymous Fan

P.S. Also, total lady bonerrrrr

I understand your comment. It is written clearly and punctuated well. You have not taken many risks with the layout and that's okay if you prefer the safety of a standard paragraph? But I will say your comment could have packed more punch with a few bullets or, yes, a number list.

A single word like this can be a sentence but it would be a little clearer if you capitalised the N and added a full stop at the end. Live and learn.

Just remember to take your rings off and you should be fine.

yeah it's disgusting reading this >.<

It's just the worst when fingernails get involved.

for crying out loud, just fuck me already!!!

1) Okay.
2) I will take your constructive criticism and I will remember it when I want to 'pack a punch' in the future.

“Whorefactor
If a girl lets you finger her within hours of knowing her she could easily be a whore.  “

Really? We're going to go ahead and perpetuate this double standard? Women like to have sex. Humans like to have sex. We don't name call people for having sex, a perfectly natural and human act.

oops, sry bb. guess i'm an idiot or sumthing :/

Why are you suddenly funny instead of offensively dumb?

I thought this article was funny but not particularly insightful on fingering.

Reminds me of how South Asians value eating with their food… the “intimate” relationship with the meal. Also, fingering someone turns me on… a lot. I'm not really sure why, because obvi using my weiner feels better…

I just saw this cringed. THE WORST.

I just saw this cringed. THE WORST.

I just saw this cringed. THE WORST.

I am not a morning person, but I read this in the morning out of “what the hell?”  thoughts.  And I laughed.  :)  Hard to make me do that this early, but you did it!  Mostly at the “koala” idea.  Now to wait on my boyfriend to wake up and read this… I bet he’ll get a kick out of it like I did — despite what some people seem to think on here, I enjoyed this.  :)

Fingering? Ofcourse, but only girl to girl :) Guys can’t do it.

BTW reallly good and bloddy hilarious.. you also answered my questions… while making me laught thats like impossible shit!! :O anyway if we where all open like you everyone would be trying more things and maybe gueting more pleasure :D

Not to mention its a better essay than I could ever do… do you like read it once you done a bit and then re-write it to perfection? a loooot of efort :O

I agree with some people that this article seems a little… clueless, but I’m appalled by the amount of people commenting thinking it is perfectly ok to engage in sexual activity with a boy/man they barely know, just because they “enjoy” it. People, you’ve got to face the facts. If you barely know a person and you choose to have sex with them, you are cheap and desperate. And before you start ranting about double standards, this is addressed to the men too.

I personally enjoy getting fingered because he is looking inside my vagina  and watching the action while getting turned on and that by itself turns me on so much…

ho

Hilarious article. People ragging on you are either hopeless prudes or humorless drones, either way = people whose opinion doesn’t really matter. 

As a man I can tell you that yes, I love fingering girls.  No, it doesn’t feel as good as a penis would but the pleasure I get is purely psychological. Fingering a girl is the first, true, concrete sign that yes, this girl desires you and yes she might have sex with you. It’s as simple as that. It’s like applying to a college and receiving an interview invitation: you haven’t been accepted yet but it feels GREAT knowing that you have survived a cut off and are now among a more select group. 

Fingering is triumph. Plus, the smell of a girl’s pussy is incredible turn-on. Fingering her means that after I go home I can still smell her on my fingers and remember the good times I just had. 

Getting fingered by the guy I am attracted to (and have been for months) is comparable to butterflies taking cocaine and having babies at ten times the normal speed in my tummy. It’s frightening at first, as his finger “army mans” down past my waistband, but also incredibly exciting. I don’t ask “what are you thinking right now” a lot, so when he finally executes the action of fingering it makes me smile- like I finally know what he is thinking at that moment, even if it is just a robotic “sex. sex. sex. sex”. In fact, I don’t even care that it is something so simple as fucking that it on his mind- just the fact that he wants me is what makes everything speed up and slow down in the most exhilarating of ways.  

Agree!