What I Really Learned In College

I learned that in high school.

I learned how to fuck mad bitches in college. Where’d you go?

You summed up one of the most important aspects of college in your intro — it’s about getting you in the habit of doing things you don’t want to do.

I have friends who’ve given the excuse that the reason they need college was because they could learn whatever they wanted to on their own.  I concede that’s true.  However, upper-level education isn’t necessarily about the content of the courses, at least from my perspective.  For me, it was about acquiring skills like waking up when I didn’t want to wake up, doing papers I didn’t want to do, and consistently going to classes that I didn’t want to sit through.  There are certainly individuals out there with the self-motivation to be able to do this stuff without going through university, but I have dated enough college drop-outs to know that the real reason behind bypassing these institutions is often laziness.

Sometimes — okay, a lot of the time — life sucks in that we have to do unpleasant shit. We have to go to work most of the days a week and even if we enjoy our field, it can become mind numbing.  We all have our version of TPS reports, and lord knows it’s a goddamn shame to be stuck in an office during the summer when it seems like everyone around you is off gallivanting in beaches and pastures or whatever.  But unless you are a trustfunder or have a passion for panhandling, having responsibilities is a given when you’re an adult. A boring, no-fun-ever having, adult.

But TGIF, amirite?

You new here?

How the fuck did you get through college –as an English major no less– without knowing what a gerund is? A gerund is a verbal noun. I think we learned that one in middle school…

Same feelings here, re Poetry! I too am an English graduate. :) 

A gerund is like -ing and shit.

Seems to me like you otta be writing one of these articles

The only thing I learned in college is not to drink more than 2 Four Lokos. Yep, that’s it. At least your list has some educational shit.

And you learn more of it in College

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What — and miss out on the exhilaration of riding someone else’s article coattails??

That being said, http://www.animated-gifs.eu/website-thanks/0179.gif

I learned that I’m only at the bottom tier of the hierarchy of geeks.  I’m gonna say computer scientists are at the top.  In high school, we were all sort of lumped together in one group. 

I learned that I’m only at the bottom tier of the hierarchy of geeks.  I’m gonna say computer scientists are at the top.  In high school, we were all sort of lumped together in one group. 

Those of us who had nothing better to do than pay attention in middle school, I guess.,

“Apparently, the promise of an afterlife helps some people deal with the crippling realization of their mortality?”

Seriously? I can’t detect sarcasm on the interwebs– is your “who knew?” for real? This, to me, is so screamingly obvious that I thought everyone just took it as fact. Just remove “apparently” and the question mark and you’re all set.

Con-GRAD-ulations, by the way.

Tiffany, huh?  I do like Tiffany…dare I give into your spam?

You could learn all that shit about waking up early and responsibility and having to do shit you don’t want to do by getting a job at Wendy’s.  

…which is why I said, “there are certainly individuals out there with the self-motivation to be able to do this stuff without going through university..”

But working at Wendys will at least allow you to be a money earner, as opposed to a money ower, considering how many graduates are in hilarious amounts of debt in America.

“I graduated college about a month ago with a humanities degree and a devastated bank account.” Well, look at you Mila, summing up my post grad problems in 25 words or less.

No, yeah, I’m not trying to say everyone should go to college for the ~magical learning environment~ or anything.  Drop-out status right here.  

College is really about learning how to follow directions than learning stuff. That’s sure a lot of money to pay for brainwashing.

This is the Romanticism professor, isn’t it

LOL. I hate this reaching argument that every college attender insists on whipping out when they’re confronted with the fact that they wasted tons of money and time (if they were unfortunate enough to have to pay their own way, which most seem to be). 

I’m not about to pay thousands of dollars to learn ‘life skills’ that life could teach me for free. 

LOL. I hate this reaching argument that every college attender insists on whipping out when they’re confronted with the fact that they wasted tons of money and time (if they were unfortunate enough to have to pay their own way, which most seem to be). 

I’m not about to pay thousands of dollars to learn ‘life skills’ that life could teach me for free. 

College shows your ability to learn.  When you start a job, the employer will “train” you to do the job they want.  Some college’s are better at preparing students for said job and so they tend to be worth more to employers.  Like M.I.T. for Engineers.

Also, a smile and a good attitude will get you far in the free market.  Always try to find the bright side even if it’s rainy.  Especially during an interview.

With that kind of attitude, you’ll be a bartender at that dive bar before you know it! Keep going!

Haha – that wouldn’t be funny if I wasn’t one already ;)

May not seem like much, and it isn’t, but college just teaches you how to adapt and learn new things. Most employers will give you training on the exact job you’ll be doing and that degree shows them that you can learn and put in time to learn.

How the fuck do you not know what a gerund is if you graduated with a degree in English? Moreover, how the fuck do you not know what a gerund is if you know the word gerund? 

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Sadly, your diploma qualifies you to make lattes at Starbucks or flip burgers.  Now the real work begins.  Now you must unlearn all the dogma you were taught at College and relearn inquisitiveness and insightful thought.  You are now operating under a false paradigm of the world around you and require full deprogramming if you are to become a viable member of society.  Either that or you need a rich man to take care of you.

I like the rich man idea.