Top 10 Worst Fruits to Get Blowjobs From

hehe

i refuse to play the pageview game. put all this shiz on one page yall

died at “The Coconut Decision”.

this is my favourite Tao Lin thought catalog article so far, i think. really liked it.

I second “BUTTERTEAM.” I love Tao Lin (and feel vaguely ok about Thought Catalog), but I am not clicking “Next” nine more times.

Oh, how lazy I've become. =

GLORIOUS.

lol…

bro…

bro…

sweet

hehe

For the first half of Richard Yates I thought you were HJO, but for the second half I thought that HJO was being a really creepy asshole (like as if someone heard Radiohead's “Creep” and it took v. literally as his life plan), and then I stopped thinking you were HJO.

lol, thats funny

“just one of the thousands of faults of the modern human being, who doesn’t want to work to get anything and only cares about orgasming within 5 minutes, only to then complain for hours each day about the ‘meaninglessness’ of life, the fleeting nature of pleasure, the evils of capitalism and the bourgeoisie and gentrification, the likes and passions and accomplishments and lives of others.”-Tao Lin

I now feel the urge to go out and get blowjobs from all other fruit not on the list. Seems like they would be pretty good.

lol… sweet

Durian fruit seems depressed

LVML

This was awesomely absurd

Would like to fuck a passionfruit. Just to try it.

Inclusion of banana seems mildly homophobic.

Lime was my favourite.

lol

“a popular thread on a Diablo II messageboard complaining about how “duping” has ruined the “high” players used to be able to feel upon finding rare/unique items digressed suddenly into a seemingly earnest discussion about the viability of masturbating using a sock that has had 2-4 banana peels sewed carefully into its interior”

holy shit, if this thread existed i probably commented on it. of the hundreds of stone of jordans that passed through my account i only found 1 naturally.

waxing seriously nostalgic on diablo 2 right now, wow. miss u d2.

lol… :)

Guava jelly and a banana leaf seems ideal. Odd and entertaining.

sweet

~40-90% chance i'll buy and play diablo iii

sweet…

sweet…

sweet

guava jelly…interesting

heheheheheheheeheheheehehe

You think about weird things, Tao.

No joke. Aesthetic reasons. Aesthetic reasons.

Segmenting content is respecting content. It allows for proper digestion, reflection, and whole picture consummation.

If Tao Lin were to be a worst fruit to get blowjobs from, which rank would he make?

I highly recommend that the mango finds a place on this list. The reason being that the skin harbors sumac oil which is some sort of relative to poison ivy. I, myself, have been plagued by this because when the fruit skin touches me I turn orange at the point of contact. This usually means orange, crystalized lips. Mango is the king of fruits.

forgive my terseness but the mango is pithy enough.

wow great nice Info. One can get so much knowledge from it.

sweet

mangos love it

this one time I fucked a tomato. after about 1.5 minutes felt overwhelmed with embarrassment and set the tomato aside while I quietly and disappointingly masturbated into a sock.