The Worst Star Wars Quotes to Shout Out During Sex

Apr. 6, 2011

By Oliver Miller info

Oliver has a MFA in fiction from a very expensive college, but has never published any fiction. He has written for ...

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1) “…I am your father!”

2) “You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought!”

3) “We’re starting for the target shaft now!”

4) “Into the garbage chute, flyboy!”

5) “No reward is worth this!”

6) “Ungh! And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!”

7) “Put that thing away, you’re gonna get us all killed!”

8 ) “RRRWARRRRGH!”

9) “Laugh it up, fuzzball!”

10) “It’s no good! I can’t maneuver!”

11) “ARRWOOOGH!”

12) “Now, his failure is complete.”

13) “Get in there, you big furry oaf!”

14) “Would it help if I got out and pushed?!”

15) “Yesss… Your sister!”

16) “You have controlled your fear! Now, unleash your anger!”

17) “I have a bad feeling about this!”

18) “Size matters not! Look at me!”

19) “Stay on target!”

20) “What a piece of junk!”

_____

Read Part 2 of this article by going right… here. TC mark

This article was originally published (in slightly different form) at The Faster Times.

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Thumbnail image – ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’ duh

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  • http://twitter.com/nanabuuui Anna B

    my boyfriend will love this :]

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    This is amazing. I've also wanted to yell out “Blueberry pancakes,” after watching that crap movie, The Goods…

    • granos

      It wasn't even so bad it's good, it was plain crap awful. Made me want to get on plane to LA to slap all the actors in the face.

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    This is really funny, but I think 16) “You have controlled your fear! Now, unleash your anger!” might work. Or if there is some sort of starwars fetish thing, then 4) “Into the garbage chute, flyboy!” might work, if a female said it. Especially if she was dressed up as Princess Leia ala' Return of the Jedi-metal bikini. And 19) “Stay on target!” might work, if a women said it, while recieving oral sex…. This is awesome!

  • http://twitter.com/steviekew Stevie Kew

    This is beautiful. Thank your mother for not aborting you, prodigy child.

    • Oliver Miller

      Mom will be so horrified/pleased.

  • obsessions

    hahahahaha

  • Grace Jung

    I'm cracking up.

  • Hubert

    Am I missing something? What's wrong with #1?

    • Lolita

      Humbert? Is that you?

  • The Truth

    I would have gone with “There's something alive down there” before “Yesss… your sister,” which isn't even a quote, but it's not a bad list for someone who's only seen the movies once.

    • Oliver Miller

      What th'? The “your sister” thing is too a quote! It's from when Darth is taunting Luke. “Your thoughts betray you, blah blah blah.” And then Luke chops his robot hand off; symbolism, Death Star goes boom, you know the rest.

  • me

    It's a trap!

  • baldgrenader

    My additions:

    ‎”I just made a deal that's going to keep the Empire out of here forever.”

    “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

    “This little one's not worth the effort.”

    and the best for last…

    ‎”Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it.”

  • http://jnaomi.tumblr.com jnaomi

    hey if you post the link up on facebook you'll see this:

    The list of Disney heroines that I’d really like to have hot sex with
    goes something like this: (1) Belle from Beauty and the Beast. (2)
    Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. (3) …An-nnd that’s about it, I guess.

    I just thought of a really weird beauty and the beast line to say during sex-
    “there may be something there that wasn't there before”

    LOL'd.

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/10-best-fictional-girlfriends/ The 10 Best Fictional Girlfriends | Thought Catalog

    [...] Princess Leia – Star Wars Star [...]

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/stars-wars-episode-7-set-for-2015-but-hopefully-the-world-ends-first/ Stars Wars Episode 7 Set For 2015 But Hopefully The World Ends First | Thought Catalog

    [...] and a heart don’t I?” Well, anyone with two eyes and a heart treasures those films. The ORIGINAL films. I like to pretend the prequels don’t exist. In fact, many moons ago, I asked Han Solo himself [...]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/11/stars-wars-episode-7-set-for-2015-but-hopefully-the-world-ends-first/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    [...] and a heart don’t I?” Well, anyone with two eyes and a heart treasures those films. The ORIGINAL films. I like to pretend the prequels don’t exist. In fact, many moons ago, I asked Han Solo himself [...]

  • http://gsllc.wordpress.com/2013/01/03/the-worst-startrek-original-series-quotes-to-shout-out-during-sex-kesseljunkie-theinsanerobin-thegorncaptain/ The Worst #StarTrek: Original Series Quotes to Shout out During Sex @kesseljunkie @TheInsaneRobin @TheGornCaptain | Frylock's Gaming & Geekery

    [...] I came across a site providing the 20 worst Star Wars quotes to shout out during sex. Well, this is the Internet, so that means I have only one choice: plagiarize! Here, then, are the [...]

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