The Superlative Top 10 List Of Lists Of Things That Are Definitively In A List For 2011
The Terrorist Security Administration escorts it out of the terminal and then knocks it out in the park for like the tenth year in a row with this incredible compendium. The TSC bravely went alphabetical, sweeping all the way from wigged-out Widad Aagesen to down to Pinkney Liotti, the luckiest man in show business, shutting it down with Nils Zywiec, who I’m pretty sure is the namesake for that syrupy beer they sell in Greenpoint. Doubles as a baby-naming manual. Your baby won’t be able to fly, though.
This list lists the generic kind of whiners/sycophants you’re bound to encounter in the list of user comments under lists proper. So, placed here, it becomes list about bitching about lists in a list in this list about lists. Example comment: “The object of which I was a fan of the previous 12 months was placed somewhere within this list that I neither expected nor desired it to be placed.” What I’m trying to say is f-ck this list.
A list of lists. I clicked through about 80 percent of these before I blacked out. These take approximately the same 50 albums and reorder them while trying to legitimize miniscule flip-flops. What new information do you get from shuffling and reading the same deck of cards over and over, besides that you’re having a stroke? Get real, music. Charting is some Billboard BS wherein quantity at some point became misconstrued for quality. Good vs. Bad is an internal argument that should be reserved for elementary school principals and dogs in training. Music is music and I’m bored as sh-t.
Props to Forbes and Consequence of Sound for being the only ones to give Donald Glover his due. He’s one of 29 other white people on this list.
I didn’t actually look at this one but Ryan Gosling [Ed. note: the sentence ends here.]
This list is the best list. I can’t believe you idiots would even consider a list of a different order or format. As gesture of good will, I am here giving nods to other lists to show I am open-minded and community-oriented. In reality, I believe my viewpoint is the only legitimate one and I read every other list in order to realign my personal brand with those of tastemakers, with the hope of even a mote of recognition. I am callow without the validation of others and my analytics have been dropping lately and things just haven’t been going that well at work, ok? Lay off. F-ck this list.
How can you refute “Gold Surprise,” “Divine Rags” or “Dog Disco?” This is the Wesley Willis of lists.
For real, this might be the only worthwhile list related to music made this year. I’m saying that as a music writer who contributed to more than my share of rankings this season. Whenever I read about the new dope-ish mixtape from wherever Kentucky, I don’t even know where to start. Thanks P4K. Not even being sarcastic, for once.
Legit this is an important list. Seems like our only hope to catch this sick f-ck by now is if there’s one reader who’s the Encyclopedia Brown of dead sex-workers buried on Long Island. F-ck this list on principle but read this list in case you’re good at clues.
I take issue with the fact I could only find one list about cats this year. Aren’t pictures of cats one of the three pillars of Internet? (cats, piracy, porn) I never saw this Buzzfeed thing on “blogs that are good: the list” so I’m not sure if this is reputable. But guys, cats. Immortal list. The only list that’s ever mattered.
This piece was originally published at IMPOSE.
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You basically have to walk a perfect straight line at all times in Japan because if you veer off at any moment you will almost definitely get mashed by a Japanese lady on a mamabike with three kids strapped to it.
Come on people, as if other people’s choices of love affected you in the least. Penguins don’t pull this crap on fellow homosexual penguins.
3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.
This is the first part of a book that I am writing for Thought Catalog. This is a fiction book about young people in New York City. A lot of it is not fiction, and not made up, because I am not sure if I am very good at making things up.