Screw New York!

http://www.theonion.com/articles/84-million-new-yorkers-suddenly-realize-new-york-c,18003/

Hilarious!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2010/everybody-get-out-of-new-york-or-dont/

I could really use a funnel cake right now…

Sounds like a violent spouse you just keep coming back to. 

No no, you got one thing wrong. NYC does not have the most evil gay men; Los Angeles does. 

one of the best thoughts I’ve read in a few weeks.

I really miss NYC right now. Thanks bro

Sounds like you need to move to London.

omg i’m crying at work. i want to be friends with you

LOVE this. 

“It’s what keeps us renewing our lease.” YES

All this, so true.. 

Dude, just eat the funnel cake and get over it.  

Also, I am seven months NYC-free and I do not miss it.  FREEDOM

When you’re born here there is no midwest to return to, transplants should be glad about that

Is everyplace the midwest to you people?  

Wait, don’t answer that.

more about new york? really…. okay

I feel like you’re saying NYC is the Regina George of popular cities, and you, sir, are not wrong.

Well written and well done!

“What do you know, I’m happy in Kansas City, Missouri paying three hundred dollars a month. Boo yah!”

My brother pays a little over $250. Shit cheap housing > New York.

not when you’re stuck in missouri…..

Love you.

Love you.

God this makes me so sad. I think you captured New York and all of its greatness very well.

God this makes me so sad. I think you captured New York and all of its greatness very well.

its not bad, jerkoff

yeah, it’s not bad if you want to settle down with your high school sweetheart and have  children by the time you are 25.  probably a great place for that.

umm, yep, EXACTLY what she was talking about with how New Yorkers need to get over themselves and their urine-soaked rathole of a “home”

You Americans are so obsessed with yourself. THERE ARE OTHER CITIES IN THE WORLD.

It’s so smart of you to think that all Americans live in New York.  We have fifty other states with thousands of other cities.  But yeah, no, you’re really smart.

You didn’t read the whole thing did you? She was saying it’s all worthwhile in the end. 

But none of them are New York. Deal with it.

I want to experience all of that.

KC is cool.

I left nyc 4-5 years ago and have never been happier about that decision, although I have ultimately returned because I am just 15 miles away in new jersey… being in northern NJ w/ pub trans to nyc in 20 minutes is really awesome because I still live in a normal suburbia…. check out 

Clifton/Montclair/Bloomfield/Glen Ridge/Verona/Roseland/North Caldwell

I have lived in NY for 4 years, not that long, I know… but its without a doubt the worst city I have ever lived in. Fuck this place. There is nothing cute about it it. If it weren’t for the job I have, I would have dipped out a couple of years ago. All the pro NY comments on here are so typical of the fake NYers that are way to desperate to realize that this city is fucking them in the ass.

Really? Thats pretty stupid. 

I envy you! 

isn’t the midwest the only place people escape from? oh and Detroit

yes. ever hear of flyover states? new york, california, and everywhere else. 

You mean forty-nine other states, right?

You must be one of those skinny people:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSbpyxFC24k

No, 50. There are 51 states. But yeah, no, you’re really smart too.

please state your favorite city.

you just read my brain. thank you for this article. i used to live in new york and now live in london. new york wins hands down.

Right.. But if its so overrated, then why the fuck are so many tourists crowding my walk to work?! 

No.

No.

There are 51 states? Canada isn’t a state.

I’m surprised you’re not complaining that New York is raping you, which should happen to you to find out what rape is like. Screw New York for allowing wannabe writer bitches like you to be here, and the most they could get as a writing gig is blogging here. Screw New York for allowing piece of shit like you to call themselves as writers. Now go suck on a funnel cake. Better yet, go suck a redneck in Missouri while he’s sucking on a funnel cake. Keep sucking.

woah. relax.

London doesn’t even enter the competition as far as I’m concerned. 

A la  ”Fuck You” scene from 25th Hour (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-O382Xi7U4):

No, No. Screw you, Ryan O’Connell.
(:

really enjoyed this!

I can’t concentrate on any of my work now… have a very sad afternoon missing NYC. LOVE this post.

I can’t concentrate on any of my work now… have a very sad afternoon missing NYC. LOVE this post.

Ok but New Yorkers- If you are eating at a chain restaurant, you are doing small towns wrong…And both connotations of that phrase apply.

Sorry but New Orleans beats New York in every category. But don’t tell anyone. Too many yuppies are moving in already.

There is absolutely NOTHING or any place like my city, N.Y. Every time I move away I only want to come back home…like now.Every day I assure my return by saying “One less day until I move back.”

“ There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. […] Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion.” – E.B. Whiteto each their own; NYC isn’t for me, but it’s perfect for other people.

I like NYC because NYC is like, you know what?
I’m a messed up freak, but i’m an interesting, smart, honest,
complicated, tough, no shit, sometimes smelly freak. Take me as I am. We all fuck up sometimes.

Dammit do I love that movie!

NYC isn’t America. And thank god for that.

I can’t help but feel a little smug when reading the comments.  All of these haters have no idea what they are missing.  

D.C. isn’t a state either. Neither are Puerto Rico, Guam, or the U.S. Virgin Islands. And there are still only 50 stars on the flag.

Care to educate the rest of us on this mythic 51st state, guywithaBRAIN who is disparaging everyone else’s intelligence?

ryan o’connell you’re the best, and fuck people who waste time writing insulting comments

This is so amazing! 

From a life long NY’er who was born and raised here, and is now raising a family here:
Do us all a favor; pack your sh*t and GTFO… NOW. You’re not wanted. 4 years… gimme a break. Yeah, you’ve SEEN IT ALL… These articles and all the bullshit that has come from them are by, for and about transplants who came here to ‘make it’. Ugh. Go home. Where ever home is. All of the crap in this ‘article’ either means nothing to me or is shit i got out of my system when i was 16. Such garbage.

ES, in my opinion you come across as a sort of elitist and another person who has just “seen it all,” very much like the person in the comment you were responding to. You had the luck to be born in New York, although through no merit of your own. Many people work hard to have the chance to live there because it is an amazing city, and I think maybe “transplants” help to make it what it is? Does everyone born in New York have all the skills required to fill every job in New York needed to keep all of its industries thriving? I’m glad you were able to work out so many issues at the age of 16, but there may be one or two still remaining if you feel the need to tell people to “get out” of your self-imagined tree house.