Reasons To Break Up, According To Saved By The Bell

Aug. 25, 2011
Steph is a former editor at Thought Catalog and a current writer at Gawker Media. Her work has been featured on ...

1. Your chauvinistic pig of a boyfriend refuses to go to the ballet with you.

2. While dating someone who loves you, you fall for your hunky boss, who’s in college, and sure, you’ve only known him for like, two days, and yeah he’s your boss, but he’s pretty dreamy so… what boyfriend?

3. The summer has come to an end, and while your seasonal affair was hot and full of Fourth of July-themed costumes, pre-Skype teenagers don’t do the bicoastal long distance dating thing.

4. All you do is fight. You have nothing in common with each other; no one even knows why you started dating in the first place. What, because you got locked in the furnace room during a school dance once? Give it a rest, already.

5. A middle-class, dorky nice guy has shown some interest in you, which is preferable to the rich, dorky asshole you’re currently dating.

6. Your ex and all of your friends spot your hunky college boss boyfriend cheating dancing with another girl at The Attic.

7. You pretended to be someone else in order to snag some intellectual dude, which goes well for all of three days before you realize that pretending to read is more work than actually reading and gave up altogether.

8. You meet a random princess while on vacation and ask her to be your girlfriend, then realize that you’re like… 16 years old and have to go back home to California. She called you an American Cheesecake or something; it was cute.

9. The role of ‘cute homeless girl’ never materialized into something more long term, neither did the relationship.

10. You come to learn that your disproportionately attractive other half is a gold digger who’s after your money and your pasta sauce recipe. TC mark

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  • Anonymous

    THIS: 9. The role of ‘cute homeless girl’ never materialized into something more long term, neither did the relationship.

    • ADV

      …even though she’s the SPITTING image of Blake Lively!

      • http://omgstephlol.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos

        Damn, you’re right…

  • Anonymous

    THIS: 9. The role of ‘cute homeless girl’ never materialized into something more long term, neither did the relationship.

  • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

    You know how when you’re adult you go back to tv shows you were very fond of as a child and frequently find that they’re atrocious?  Saved by the Bell was one of the few shows that I knew was horrible even as a child…I also knew Full House was incredibly cheesy, but I did watch it.  I had a crush on Stephanie. 

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      Everyone had a crush on Stephanie!

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      Everyone had a crush on Stephanie!

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    Gold digging, pizza sauce thief! OMG I remember that one! Loved the summer Saved by the Bell w/ Zach’s brunette east coast gf.

  • your cousin

    11. Your Type A womynist girlfriend doesn’t follow you and your friends to Cal U, but instead hitchhikes to Vegas to rough up some bitches and become a *star*

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    damn..

  • http://twitter.com/galette_rois Julian Galette

    People’s reasons to break up in real life can sometimes be as asinine yet no one ever gets to look back and laugh at them. 

    • Guestropod

      1.) pregnancy scare got toooooo intense
      2.) I’m not a Christian and I was making him sin sexually
      3.) we went to different colleges
      4.) I moved
      5.) he moved
      6.) I realized I shouldn’t be dating someone old enough to talk about getting audited (AGAIN!!! woe is him) on FB / old enough to be like ‘wow, you’ve seen this movie?’ about Star Wars
      7.) I moved

      • Anonymous

        8. They didn’t spend hundreds of dollars to come visit me over the Summer. No, I never once thought of going to visit them.

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