Pop Quiz: Who Said What – Mike Tyson, Or Pinhead From The Hellraiser Series?

Aug. 31, 2011

By Ben Kassoy info

Ben Kassoy has coauthored two books of humorous nonfiction and recently completed a series of six children's books. ...

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a)    “I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.”

b)   “My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.”

c)    “You suffer beautifully. But I am here for business, not pleasure.”

d)   “Your suffering will be legendary—even in Hell.”

e)    “I like the British bikes. I like British people. They’re real mellow.”

f)     “Just come here and die, child, while you still have the option of doing it quickly.”

g)    “I could have knocked him out in the third round, but I wanted to do it slowly.”

h)   “Mom, have you seen my white cami?”

i)     “He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

j)     “I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating.” TC mark

ANSWERS

Tyson: a, b, e, g, i, j

Pinhead: c, d, f

My little sister: h

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image – Hellraiser

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    This was awesome. And frightening. Mainly awesome.

  • http://twitter.com/HipsterFriend HipsterFriend

    Was this supposed to be a parody of the whole “which of these two seemingly different characters said these surprisingly (but also unsurprisingly) different things?” thing? Because I honestly can’t tell. I mean, I got them all right and I’ve never seen a second of the Hellraiser flicks.

    If you were writing parody, troll harder. If you were writing as though this was seriously supposed to throw people, troll harder.

    • C.M

      Was this supposed to be a parody of the whole “I’m a self-important hipster so I am unnecessarily critical of light-hearted fun” thing?

      • Anonymous

        No I think it’s more of a “I am a reasonable person who is pointing out that the comedic premise of this article is convoluted and could use some improvement” thing. I would agree with their criticism entirely.

        That said, I appreciated h).

      • http://twitter.com/HipsterFriend HipsterFriend

        That was fun? I’m sorry, I’m a self-important hipster so the only “fun” things I know are superiority, which gets old when it happens as often as it does to me, and coke. Which also gets old for the same reason.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

        It’s okay, with a name like HipsterFriend, we HAVE to take you seriously.

    • dip

      that was fuckin FUN

  • C.M

    h) is just fantastic

  • C.M

    h) is just fantastic

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