Notes On Dating A Crazy Girl

May. 19, 2011

By Oliver Miller info

Oliver Miller is a very famous writer and editor.

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No one ever sets out to date a crazy girl, in the same way that no one ever sets out to become a member of a cult. No one’s like, “HEY MAYBE I’LL JOIN AN INSANE CULT TODAY.” No, you just gradually get sucked in — step by step, day by day, hour by hour — until eventually, you’re just as crazy as she is.

It’s like Stockholm Syndrome. It’s like how Patty Hearst ended up becoming a member of the Symbionese Liberation Army. Crazy people just wear you down like that. You go from “Ohmigod I can’t believe these insane people kidnapped me,” to “Fuck it, maybe I will help rob a bank,” to, “…Wow, this machine gun fires a lot more smoothly than I thought it would!”

_____

In retrospect, the fact that Amber had no real furniture in her apartment should have been a tip-off. She also had no TV, no internet, no decorations on the walls, etc… She said that she was a sculptor, but there were no sculptures… anywhere in the apartment. Not that I care about watching TV or even about sculpture that much, but overall, the effect was troubling. Or, the effect should have been troubling, had I been paying attention at all.

But that’s how crazy girls (or guys, no doubt) end up tricking you. What later presents itself as true craziness only seems like mild quirkiness in the beginning. So she didn’t have any furniture. What did I care? …How could I have predicted that two months later, Amber would be screaming at me on the phone, telling me that she could have me hunted down and killed by a team of military experts? THIS IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING THAT SHE SAID TO ME. “I could have your legs broken, if I wanted to,” she said. “…Bring it on,” I mumbled back. “My life couldn’t get that much worse at this point. Cue the leg-breaking.”

_____

But she didn’t look crazy. She didn’t have dark hair or smeared mascara; she didn’t wear all black or act “goth-y.” She looked like what she essentially was: a rich WASP-y girl from New England.

On our first date, we got drunk at a bar. I knocked over a plate and broke it. I was comforted by the fact that she was somehow drinking more than I was, which is nearly impossible. I took a bunch of Adderall and we went back to her place and fucked four times. Then we woke up in the morning and did it again. Within a few days, I was living with her.

_____

Look, I don’t hold myself blameless here. Clearly, I am not immune from acting crazy myself. I drink too much, I smoke too much, I actually have a form of OCD which involves pulling out your own hair. No one moves in with a girl after three days, but I did. But there’s a difference between being “crazy” and being crazy crazy.

Amber was bipolar; she had bipolar disorder. And she would drink massive amounts of booze on top of her “meds,” ignoring the warning labels on her medicine bottles — the warning labels which said that drinking on top of her pills would lead to violent mood swings.

Amber was also brutal. I soon learned that anything that I said could be grist for a potential fight. Once, she started screaming at me because I said that she was “skinny.”

“YOU THINK THAT THIS IS SKINNY?” she said, taking a slug from her juice glass full of vodka.  “I’LL TELL YOU WHAT SKINNY IS. I USED TO BE ANOREXIC, NOW THAT WAS SKINNY.”

Oh, great… I thought.

“Um, I meant it as a compliment?” I said.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!!!”

_____

Going for a walk, buying a TV, the proper way to cook grilled cheese — these could all be the potential causes of fights. Soon, my voice acquired a permanent quaver at the end of sentences. “Honey?” I would say. But I would say it like this: “Hon-neeeee?” As in, please don’t throw anything else at me.

“WHO THE FUCK WERE YOU TALKING TO ON THE PHONE?”

“Honey? My friend Tiffany?”

“OHHH, TIFFANY, WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS GONNA FUCK NOW?”

“She lives 1,500 miles away. She’s married. I gave her away at her wedding. How can I… fuck her?”

“I JUST CAN’T HANDLE THE LIES ANYMORE, OLIVER.”

…Eeek.

_____

But Amber was really good in bed; and there you have my epitaph, or one of them, anyway: ”But she was really good in bed.” It’s not a good excuse for dating anyone, but I guess it’s all I’ve got.

Being insane really helped Amber be uninhibited in bed. We would have endless loud screaming fights, and then endless loud screaming sex. “Oh, fucking pound me!” she would scream. “I’m gonna make you come all night!” Okay then.

Her orgasm noise was like the dying wail of something or other: “OHMIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWD.” Meanwhile, our neighbors would be banging angrily on the walls of her apartment. Yes, I had become that person. I had become the member of the couple that the neighbors hated.

_____

There were other consolations as well. Amber would tell me fifteen times a day that she loved me more than anyone else ever could; that she understood me in a way that no one else ever could. Okay then.

And she thought that every girl on the face of the earth wanted to sleep with me. Since I don’t actually look like Brad Pitt in real life, this was highly flattering.

“WHO WERE YOU JUST TALKING TO?”

“…The waitress?”

“THAT BITCH BETTER WATCH OUT, I SAW HER MAKING EYES AT YOU.”

“…The waitress that I just gave money to for a cheeseburger?”

And that’s when it starts. You start to believe your own crazy hype. …Wow, maybe every single girl ever does want to fuck me, you think. …Wow, when she’s not screaming at me, my girlfriend just constantly tells me how amazing I am.

_____

I broke up with Amber a while ago, but I still hear from her. She calls me up ten times a day to tell me that she loves me. Every tenth time or so, I pick up, and then, somehow, we get into a huge fight. …But in a way, this is all my fault. I know I shouldn’t pick up the phone, but I do. I just like the attention, I guess.

And so, I must confess here that I find crazy people to be fun and entertaining. …And so, it’s my weakness, I guess. Life with Amber was interesting; never a dull moment. Because she was crazy, she wasn’t distracted by quotidian concerns the way that you or I are. Every second of her life was laser-focused on something or other. Yeah, she would scream at me for ignoring her if I dared to send my boss an email, but she also told me continually that I was the most awesome sexy genius of ever.

Dating a crazy girl plunges your life into a sort of lurid Technicolor format. I did it, so I know. You get good attention and you get bad attention, but you get attention. And now that I’ve broken up with Amber, my life is dull again. The lights have gone down in the theater. Everything is in lame black-and-white. It’s safer here, but also more boring, and that’s sad, in a way. TC mark

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  • http://twitter.com/lukebourassa Luke Bourassa

    “…let me explain something to you that you could have no way of knowing: Emotionally unstable women are fantastic in the sack..”
    –Jack Donaghy

  • Oliver Miller

    Aye.  Sad but true.

  • PUBLICPERV

    OFFENSIVE, BRUH

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steven-Timberman/922794 Steven Timberman

    Jesus fucking balls, man. So much honesty. I've been trying to be all editorial and shit with my comments at TC, but this is so bang-on the money.

    The bit that starts with “But Amber was really good in bed” should be on EVERYONE's tombstone. Everyone I know who has ever dated a moderate amount of people have stayed with that one person a little too long, a little too late, a little beyond the usual just because they have a certain way with things.

    I fully admit to my hard-on for crazy girls though. I joke that I run off of an opposite crazy-hot scale from HIMYM, but there's very little joke to it. I find out that a girl is sane and I lose interest. I know I'm a horrible person for that, but there's nothing quite like that technicolor you so aptly describe.

  • SpaceGeekChick

    You know, sometimes the crazy girls learn to be uncrazy….

  • http://flavors.me/terakristen Tera Kristen

    I am a crazy girl. Being crazy makes you insecure because you're all “I'm fucking crazy no one could ever *really* want me” (in your head of course, crazy people don't talk about their insecurities explicitly). On the outside we know we're interesting and sometimes hot, and thus we can easily act like we're awesome.  Then we meet the man of our dreams and we're all like “Don't fuck this up, don't fuck this up”. 

    Then we fucking fall in love – and this is the scariest shit. Because as a crazy girl we're something completely different on the inside compared to what we are on the outside. We're sad because we can't control ourselves (who the fuck is pulling the strings??) and we're ecstatic because someone loves us. But, we never fully believe that they love us because we don't love us. Phone calls from anyone become evidence of cheating – because c'mon who wouldn't cheat on us? A lifetime of succumbing to our emotions makes us lash out, often violently. 

    I must make an edit. I was a crazy girl. Until I met a man who forced me to see that I am a good person. Practice and hard work allows me to control my emotions. Crazy doesn't make me interesting – I'm interesting because I'm fucking awesome and smart and open-minded. I have seen the light but it took love to take me there. I hope that Amber will find it too.

  • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

    “I took a bunch of Adderall and we went back to her place and fucked four times. Then we woke up in the morning and did it again. Within a few days, I was living with her.”

    I can't believe things didn't turn out better based on this foundation!

  • chelseafagan

    Hahahahahahahahahaha, Oliver, I loved this.

    If only the crazy=good sex formula worked for guys. Unfortunately, guys like this will often stop mid-coitus to talk…or cry.

  • SpaceGeekChick

    It took losing the second best person in my life to see that crazy was getting no where, it took a few more failed relationships to iron out my kinks and now I have my second chance and I am doing it in uncrazy style. Still quirky, but not quite crazy >.< 

  • http://www.facebook.com/gregpphoto Greg Petliski

    “I am a crazy girl. Being crazy makes you insecure because you're all “I'm fucking crazy no one could ever *really* want me” (in your head of course, crazy people don't talk about their insecurities explicitly). On the outside we know we're interesting and sometimes hot, and thus we can easily act like we're awesome.  Then we meet the man of our dreams and we're all like “Don't fuck this up, don't fuck this up”. “ 

    Hoooooly shit someone else thinks like me. Thank you for sharing this. Cool to know I'm not the only one whose daily existence is made up of “am I fucking up?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=539592740 Viktoriya Gaponski

    J'love it! This is more entertaining than Victorian Women in Crime

  • Oliver Miller

    If anyone wants to talk about the Britney Spears video at any point, I'm all for that, too.  …Why the fuck is she dressed like a waitress at the beginning? …Why is Sabrina the Teenage Witch in the video? …Does the whole thing not make any sense, or am *I* the crazy one now, or what?

  • JD

    Really like this. Funny and honest. Good job!

    p.s. you are totally crazy, too, for moving in with someone after a few days. I think one crazy needs a sane to balance the relationship out.

  • pewpdude

    I've dated this girl. A few times. ” WHY DONT YOU GO SUCK ALL YOUR FRIENDS DICKS!”

  • Oliver Miller

    Your accurate critique has been acknowledged and processed, sigh.

  • Jordan

    sounds like the perfect date to me

  • Jordan

    First of all, thank you a million billion times over for not writing How To Date a Crazy Girl!

    I laughed and laughed and laughed at this one.  Good work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steven-Timberman/922794 Steven Timberman

    I'd like to defend us crazy gents, but damn – a good cry never hurt anyone. Except the woman trying to come, of course.

    However, if I were to take an imformal survey among my female friends I think I'd here that crazy guys are pretty great in bed; super-attentive and all that nonsense. But there's a certain narcissistic quality in crazy people that tends to fuck it all up, yeah?

  • Yeah-Yea

    Sabrina is in the video because this song was “the song” for the movie Drive Me Crazy. Adrian Entourage is in it too.  Jury is still out on the disco burger place and waitress business though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steven-Timberman/922794 Steven Timberman

    Is it weird that I could substitute girl for guy and agree to 95% of this?

      “we never fully believe that they love us because we don't love us.” That might be the best epitaph to every relationship I've ever had.

    Thanks a lot, now I'm going to have to go watch The O.C. finale where Summer marries Seth again. Damn you!

  • http://brianmcelmurry.blogspot.com/ Brian McElmurry

    She had a rich dad too, I bet… I liked this. Been there myself.

  • Oliver Miller

    Okay, that explanation was pretty helpful; thank you. Is that the movie where the chick is like a magical chef, or I guess I should just go and Google this stuff, huh?

  • pulpblood

    what happens when you don't act like you're awesome
    and when you're not completely different on the inside
    you're just outwardly a mess, too

    so bleak fuck

  • http://flavors.me/terakristen Tera Kristen

    Haha it's from a movie called  ”Drive Me Crazy” – watch it if you want to see a young and impressionable Adrian Grenier

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    or say, “can i tell you a secret?”

    you: *nods*

    guy, sadly, earnestly: “i don't have any friends.”

  • http://twitter.com/chantzerolin Chantz Erolin

    “She didn't look crazy, she didn't have dark hair”

    nice?

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    …but did she call you 'daddy'?

  • Oliver Miller

    No; she would have; I was too embarrassed to ever request it.  She would let me CENSORED though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bob-Ethirteen/100002166433021 Bob Ethirteen

    “ somehow drinking more than I was, which is nearly impossible. I took a bunch of Adderall and we went back to her place and fucked four times.114″

    “massive amounts of booze on top of her “meds,” ignoring the warning labels on her medicine bottles — “

    Amber is not the only one bi-polar

  • http://twitter.com/xsssy Chrissy Lane

    Honnestly, I want to date this woman.

  • http://twitter.com/rislynsey christopher lynsey

    Oliver, 

    This is awesome.

  • Ali Neer

    You nit-picked a part of the sentence that you didn't find appropriate. He described the stereotypical “crazy girl”.

  • Lex001

    God your writing turns me on.  Great, one more straight boy I can't have.

  • Kailee

    Maybe she just didn't like you. It's okay, it happens.

  • mopester

    im so high….

  • BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO

    I LIVED IN THAT TECHNICOLOR WORLD BUT DONT REMEMBER MUCH BECAUSE OF THE KLONOPIN AND THE STEELE RESERVE

  • Jerri_i

    Hey Oliver, Are you still like homeless?

  • Yeah-yea

    I think that movie is called Simply Irresistible and stars Sarah Michelle Gellar.

  • Em

    i've been meaning to tell you this for a long time (well at least since you asked me to be your fb friend eventhough i never met you , and  keep posting this stupid-ass articles): I really fucking hate guys like you.

    You give off this geeky, “sensitive” vibe and then all you care about is 1- sex  2- telling the world how much sex you have and how many girls you get. 3- have no respect for any woman whatsoever.

    i much rather fuck any upfront douchebag than a dude like you.. any day. You need more therapy than all the bipolar girls of the world put together

    the end.

  • Kaitlyn_Flynn

    I would love to see one TC article without the obligatory trolly comment.

  • anonymous

    I think you nailed it. I worry when my female friends fall for the bullshit of guys like this. The whole tone of this is a weird combination of hostility and boasting.

  • eceismen

    And tonight, I shall take Adderall and have fuckloads of alcohol CHEERS TO ALL OF US CRAZY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. 

    Amber, first one goes for you.

  • Kw3li

    crazy girls have the best pussy

  • Guest

    Water seeks its own level. you're crazier than she is.

  • Oliver Miller

    I asked you to be my Facebook friend? …I mean, based on the fact that you hate me, it must at least be some comfort to you that apparently I get yelled at a shit ton by girls — or at least one girl, or whatever.

  • Oliver Miller

    Yes, kinda.

  • Amanda

    This is probably the funniest most refreshing thing I've read in a while… and I'm a girl. I'm fully aware that a lot of women are crazy and that I have, at times, been a little crazy myself. I suppose what has always baffled me is why you guys put up with it for so long when you just KNOW how it's going to end. Sex is quite the powerful motivator, then. I've stayed in relationships for good sex myself, but never one that went quite this far. 

    All I have to say is: I commend you for sticking around as long as you did.

  • holly k

    sounds like she has a lot of trust issues and insecurities to work out. loved the little details, like the bit about her being “laser-focused” on minute issues (so true) and thinking that every girl wanted to sleep with you. 

    am a little more interested in hearing about the author's own brand of “crazy.” too much drinking, smoking, and adderall? ha. sounds like a couple of boys i used to date. (since giving them up, my life has also lost a lot of color)

  • http://someharddrugs.blogspot.com Carolyn DeCarlo

    that goes for crazy guys too. yum.

  • http://someharddrugs.blogspot.com Carolyn DeCarlo

    “And now that I’ve broken up with Amber, my life is dull again.” exactly :(

  • http://twitter.com/RESEWON Theresa Won

    This is so much better than the “Notes On Being The Crazy Girl” article that was posted today.

  • greg

    Everytime i read one of your posts about fucking some new hot crazy tatted stripper chick, i look at your photo and think “HIM, reaaaallly”.

    seriously though your posts are really always entertaining

  • Oliver Miller

    It's more based on my dwindling supply of quirky charm than on me being some sort of super-stud.  There was only one tatted girl, anyway.

  • Kukie

    My, oh my. Highly entertaining, I love this!
    I have Tricho. too!

  • anti-crazy

    my life is better now that I've stopped dating a crazy person :)  dull is better than crazy, carolyn.  at least you'll live longer.  i started going gray while i was dating “the crazy.”  now she tries to wedge herself into my current relationship.  (i know it's terrible to say, but….) i honestly hope something terrible happens to her that will make her open her eyes to how much of a waste of time it is for her to act the way she does…bipolar, or boarder-lined personality-stricken she is, there's no excuse in my eyes.  if a revelation doesnt work for her, death is the only cure for such a “black-hole” of a person.  just kidding.  but seriously.

  • Katie A.

    As a fellow sufferer from Trichotillomania, I kind of resent you referring to the behavior as “crazy.” I know that was clearly not the point of this article, but I just wanted to make my feelings known. I am not crazy for doing that, nor are you, nor is anyone who suffers from Trich. It’s unfortunate we have to deal with it, yes, but we’re not crazy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1570650039 Carolina Jaquez

    This is so completely right on.

  • neutral-crazy

    I don’t know about that one, anti-crazy. I have an attraction to crazy women (they are extremely exciting), and they to me (I’m stable and they apparently can sense that). I’ve been through the threats on my life, the stupid amounts of drinking, the yelling-and-throwing-shit-I-fucking-hate-you-and-everything-else-in-my-life at 10am, breaking-down-and-crying-about-everything-ever by noon, and let’s-have-crazy-awesome-sex-make-dinner-together-spend-the-whole-night-in-each-others-arms-I-love-you-more-than-life-itself  by supper time a number of times. It’s ridiculous, but here’s the catch: you will never ever be bored again. Period. Which sometimes makes it worth it. Protip: date multiple bipolar girls at once. You can switch between them so you always have one when she’s manic. Also, they are always suspicious anyway, might as well give them a reason.

  • neutral-crazy

    I don’t know about that one, anti-crazy. I have an attraction to crazy women (they are extremely exciting), and they to me (I’m stable and they apparently can sense that). I’ve been through the threats on my life, the stupid amounts of drinking, the yelling-and-throwing-shit-I-fucking-hate-you-and-everything-else-in-my-life at 10am, breaking-down-and-crying-about-everything-ever by noon, and let’s-have-crazy-awesome-sex-make-dinner-together-spend-the-whole-night-in-each-others-arms-I-love-you-more-than-life-itself  by supper time a number of times. It’s ridiculous, but here’s the catch: you will never ever be bored again. Period. Which sometimes makes it worth it. Protip: date multiple bipolar girls at once. You can switch between them so you always have one when she’s manic. Also, they are always suspicious anyway, might as well give them a reason.

  • pro-crazy

    Protip: date multiple bipolar girls at once. You can switch between them so you always have one when she’s manic. Also, they are always suspicious anyway, might as well give them a reason.

  • shmello

    But she didn’t look crazy. She didn’t have dark hair or smeared mascara; she didn’t wear all black or act “goth-y.”
    can you say ster-eo-type, get the fuck out of here

    love,
    gothy girl

  • http://millikandaily.com Arikia Millikan

    I love this. Even more so since you prefaced it with that video. Thanks for the read!

  • Hawkinsarcher

    Yeah it’s a stereotype that society has pressed into him but honestly. I haven’t met any goth fashioned people, who weren’t doing it just to get into the club, that weren’t a little bat shit nuts. I love the fashion, but I’ve never not met a goth that was an emotional/idealogical mess of some sort. Also, if a girl or anyone did wear heavy smeared eye liner everywhere, you wouldn’t think somethings wrong?

  • Hawkinsarcher

    Yeah it’s a stereotype that society has pressed into him but honestly. I haven’t met any goth fashioned people, who weren’t doing it just to get into the club, that weren’t a little bat shit nuts. I love the fashion, but I’ve never not met a goth that was an emotional/idealogical mess of some sort. Also, if a girl or anyone did wear heavy smeared eye liner everywhere, you wouldn’t think somethings wrong?

  • Anon

    this is awesome..crazy girls are the best in bed. and dating them is a blast.

  • Anon

    this is awesome..crazy girls are the best in bed. and dating them is a blast.

  • Kathryn O’Neil

    Thanks for posting this. 

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Not funny but way funny. How’d you do that?

  • http://communitiescognitively.wordpress.com Tera Kristen

    I’m trying to get all crazy girls into one place so we can all be super awesome together. It makes me sad to think of anyone that’s still in the place where I used to be. 

  • http://twitter.com/icameasgold Tanya Donascimento

    No if you suffer from a mental illness than you are in fact crazy.  That’s why mental illnesses were invented, to better define exactly what kind of crazy you are.

  • green7619

    yo i made the mistake of giving this girl my number. Met her yesterday (9-11-2011)  it took literally 30 secs for this girl to have drastic swings in behavior.  I  was like oh snap.  Im just gonna ignore her, she will fade off right? right!! im scared.

  • Baddabing412

    Listen, assclown. This person you’re thrillfucking is ill and needs a doctor’s care. She’s got a disorder that could be fatal to her or to someone else, or maybe to you. How about losing the cavalier bullcrap and dialing up some humanity.

  • Anonymous
  • Maz

    This is some godawful writing.

  • guest

    Change the name to Alana and I have a very similar story except it ended with her attempting suicide getting declared sane and trying to light me on fire

  • Wow.

    Way to be an offensive asshole, jerk. People suffer from mental illness, and I know that means more than just the affected, but adding to a wealth of problematic discourse as a way of dealing with your own experience? That’s a low blow. Either you never cared for your ex at all, which makes you a callous person who was using her mental illness to allay your own insecurities, or you did, in which case you should care about the fact that mental illness is still stigmatized to the point of sufferers avoiding treatment, the fact that suicide is one of the leading causes of death in young people, and the fact that you and she were obviously facing some fairly insidious consequences of her disease.

    If she had cancer, everyone would call you out on this bullshit as well. Frankly it’s ableist, borders on sexist and firmly falls into the “thoughts that thought catalog writers should have kept to themselves”.

  • Mr. Nero

    As a man whose life has been largely inhabited by “crazy” women, I must say that this was an excellent fucking read.   A relationship with a girl with too many toys in the attack is definitely a derailed train floating through the air destined to crash, but I wouldn’t trade the memories of that crazy train for anything.  The worst part is when you start to actually fall for them and try to change the life you live together (the drugs, the booze, the fights, the self esteem/trust issues, communication problems)…only to realize that the whole mess was just postponed heartache from the get go.  And that’s how men become “crazy”, but waiting for the break up for it to wear off. Cheers to the author.

  • Mr. Nero

    *typo: “…by waiting for the…”

  • sinahle

    she didn’t wear all black or act “goth-y.”
    –

    Many people wear all black without being goth-y… Black is the new black, and quite slimming.

  • Oliver Miller

    Yes, because every time you tell someone, “Hey, what you need is a doctor’s care,” they instantly say to you: “Oh, right! A doctor! I won’t ignore that advice because no one has ever pointed that out to me before, and you are the first one to point that out, ever, so I won’t repeatedly ignore you.”  Good stuff.

  • Oliver Miller

    Yeah, agreed. I mean, me calling myself “crazy” is a way of me trying to own my craziness. I mean, crazy, mentally ill… one of these just sounds less offensive because it’s of a more recent coinage. Whatever, I pull out my own hair. That’s kinda crazy to me. It doesn’t mean I should be locked up forever or tied up in a straight-jacket. It just is what it is.

  • A Badger

    Oh my God.  Apparently refusing to treat bipolar disorder is EXACTLY like being about to die from cancer.  Oliver?  Why are you beating up cancer patients?

    Dear, you are apparently a fool-ist…?

  • Edwinx34

    This is exactly like my ex Nicole. Had me arrested a couple of times but awesome in bed. Good time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/krazykenzieXD Mackenzie Rose Walsh

    Sounds like a lot of the girls on imgfave lol.

  • Oliver Miller

    And  so it goes…

  • Oliver Miller

    I do not know what that is.

  • Vanessa

    I’m bipolar. I have no idea if I am great in bed; relationships aren’t the easiest thing, I have to admit. 
    I guess I just wanted to say (especially to those who think that this piece was offensive), I actually like this and am genuinely amused. It was honest and witty; during some parts I inwardly cringed as I knew I was guilty of the same. It makes me wonder if the guys I’ve dated are thinking the same. 

    And Oliver, once you’ve tried ‘crazy’ its hard to go back (don’t you think?).

  • James B

    I have never dated a crazy chick and now after reading this I am even more intrigues because I understand these people and have dealt with them through friends and family.

  • Ellie

    I have trich too. It is awful. :(

  • Renee

    Wow. I’ve never seen what is has been like on “the other side”… until I got a good whiff of a former Girlfriend of mine who went crazy on ME (and I’m not her boyfriend, since she has a husband)! lol. I must say, I’ve gone nutso on my ex- more than enough times I’d like to remember… but reading this – Wow! She makes me look like a bumper fender. I am sorry to hear she has bipolar… and to respond to those who were raking you about that – as sick as she is, it’s NOT anyone else’s job to save someone from insanity. We are only powerless to others and people will either usually 1.) Go Bottom (I wonder where her threshold is on that..) or 2.) Well, you know the other option – before they admit they need treatment.

    Hilarious read. I would’ve liked to read more about your own issues and recovery, since you obviously felt compelled enough to date her, and reading a little bit about the drinking aspect. Thanks.

    Renee in Orange County, Ca.

  • DIGGER

    There is nothing sexist about this article. The fact that it happens to be a woman who is crazy does not make the author sexist. Just as when women wright about asshole boyfriends..does that make them sexist? No. As for a guy who is sharing an experience about a crazy situation and the person happens to be bi-polar, and the article ends up being funny because the situation is actually funny and this some how makes him an insensitive person who is picking on people with mental disorders? Um, no. Sorry. Obviously the people who were all up in arms over this very funny article, have never had this kind of experience, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with making light of a situation that can shed some wisdom on the situation. And truthfully, I’ve dated plenty of girls who were absolutely nuts, and there is a true factor to this as pointed out by the author: the sex is incredible. There’s no denying it. I’ve dated so called “well adjusted” “normal” “down to earth” “stable” and “responsible” girls, who for the most part are wonderful people and were great to date, however, not one of them could even compare to the great sex you have with a crazy person. Just like with a lot of women who have told me that the guy  who has a stable job, is funny, nice, stable, charming, sweet, romantic and has odd quirks that make him adorable is perfect however he doesn’t even compare to the hot sex they had with Buddy who is living at his friends on the couch, just lost his job as a bartender, is dumber than a bag of hammers,  has abbs of steel, has tattoos every where and looks like he should be on the cover of GQ and running from the law. Sorry, almost does seem like a stereo type, but unfortunately there’s truth to it. And this was a very funny anecdote in my opinion. Nice work.

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