New Startup Will Create And Manage Online Girlfriend for You

Mar. 28, 2011
I direct editorial here at TC. Email me: brandon@thoughtcatalog.com.

Ushering in a new era of self-denial and douchebaggery, a new web startup called Cloud Girlfriend promises its users a fake, virtual girlfriend who will ‘accompany’ them on Facebook, maybe Twitter, maybe… YouTube? Specifically, Cloud Girlfriend offers to:

Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend. Step 2: We bring her into existence. Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.

And it appears as if a good amount of people are lining up to get into a virtual text/ photo based long distance relationship. “Due to high demand we are only able to accommodate a limited number of users to the site. Register early to get in line,” reads a red line of text at the top of Cloud Girlfriend’s landing page.

The success of such a service wouldn’t be without precedent. According to AOL, similar concepts have been positively received in Japan. But Japan also has, like, used-women’s-underwear vending machines. Or so I hear.

I can’t tell if Cloud Girlfriend is the next generation cam/call girl or what. Either way, I have a feeling this startup is gonna have some run-ins with Facebook, as Facebook isn’t really into fake profiles. And, uh, why would one pay for this service anyway? Haven’t all the guys who want the internet to think they have girlfriends already created fake profiles of #hotsluts? Hasn’t Cloud Girlfriend seen Catfish?

Perhaps it’s simple. Perhaps the site’s a scam – after all, its landing page doesn’t have Terms of Service, a Privacy Policy, or anything legit companies typically have to cover them on the legal end. Or, perhaps, using Cloud Girlfriend somehow minimizes the cognitive dissonance that invariably comes along with living a lie. Who knows? TC mark

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  • PERFECTCIRCLES

    We need to be able to turn real girlfriends into cloud girlfriends. Am I right men and lesbian women?

  • Stammgast

    this actually has enacted before, although I don't know to what degree of success. I definitely remember an imaginarygirlfriends.com existing in the early 2000s

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505759069 Julian Tully Alexander

    This sounds like something I need in my life. Thanks.

  • Vforvera

    Is this inspired by Peter Coffin?

  • http://www.badbadbad.net jesusangelgarcia

    Intimacy in e-culture just keeps getting weirder. Thanks for sharing.

  • xtos

    indeed japan has a culture of men who enter long term romantic relationships with body pillows

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    this is so sad

  • maha

    calling viral bullshit for something else

  • http://twitter.com/hereticaneue Heretica Neue

    Totally just signed up for that. YES.

  • 137TMX

    do they have this for boyfriends? or friends? or what about if your kids aren't talking to you, or your parents aren't talking to you? can you get “virtual” versions of other relationships?

    what of the fact that your friends don't give a damn who you're dating? i mean, i want my friends to be happy. i look at a friend of mine: he could be dating natalie portman, or condoleeza rice, or neil patrick harris, or all of them, or he could be joining the priesthood, i don't really give a damn, just want him to be happy.

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