Letters to Fictional TV Characters
Dear Audrina Patridge from The Hills,
I know you’re not a fictional TV character, but I’m also not entirely convinced you’re real. The way your eyes fail to stare directly at another person and convey any sense of emotion is somewhat disconcerting. I think you’re operating under the false assumption that The Hills is a performance art project that will be premiering at Sundance in the near future. And all of the publicity surrounding the show is part of its elaborate premise. In fact, you’re still filming the show, aren’t you? The cameras may have left a year ago, but you believe they still may be out there somewhere filming for some “deleted scenes” so you’re always in Los Angeles sipping an iced tea staring blankly into the sun in case someone wants to capture the moment. Your family and friends don’t know when you’ll stop and just be “‘Drina” again. They miss Drina.
Confused About Your Confusion,
#1 Drina Fan
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3. You’ve searched Etsy or eBay for a cute and inexpensive fez.
This is the first part of a book that I am writing for Thought Catalog. This is a fiction book about young people in New York City. A lot of it is not fiction, and not made up, because I am not sure if I am very good at making things up.
The sad truth is that even if we were to invest all of our time and resources into making ourselves look like somebody else, most of us would not succeed in complying with the ridiculously unattainable beauty standard created by the media.
Don’t pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.