In Defense of Sex

The most sex-positive piece I've seen on TC. Digging it.

amen sister!

Kinda the permission I didn't realise I needed.

INSPIRATIONAL

I love this!!

Love this. Love hearing a woman talk about how much she loves sex. Love the part about the fat roll. So true. #twerk

You know, I'm really likin' this.

Oh Jesus, not another one of these. Alright, fine. I’ll fall in line: You go girl! Way to realize your femininity through sexual intercourse . . . even though there’s nothing really unique or special about this. . . . fuck. I can’t do it. . . . You’re sexting right now? You’re so daring! It’s not banal at all. Listen: It’s fine that you have kinky sex and you’re coming to realize that the “powers that be” are wrong to make a natural act seem completely unnatural. But–and I hesitate to say it–this topic is as stale as two day old horse shit. Next time, keep it in the barn–where all the kinky shit really belongs.

Sounds like someone isn't getting any.

Audible sigh. You’re right. I’m dried up. Can’t even get wet. That must be it. I’ll just go back into my corner and read some Foucault.

Fantastic piece, Ms. Oliver. I'm trying so hard to get to that place where the accidental fat roll doesn't bother me–trying, trying!

But I'm not gonna lie, now I'm pretty curious to know what you did to freak someone out…

Less tortured emo bullshit. More of this.

I'm sorry but, I hate when girls say they don't feel self conscience in bed ever. A- it makes those who do feel even worse. B- 99.9% of the time it's because, hey, they don't have any fat rolls or qualms to have in bed because they have really nice bodies to begin with.

Kuboaa, you should take a trip upstate with Amanda and I. We'll show you everything you've been missing, starting with choking.

When sex become something that needed to be defended? Good article, but I don't know about the title.

Feel like my biggest sexual accomplishment is making girls unashamed of themselves. It's always nice when they start that way, but then I'm just a warm body. Either way, right the fuck on.

Yeah, because Thought Catalog has a reputation of covering important social issues and is on its way to replacing Mother Jones. Miserable bitch is all you are. Thanks.

Or prick. I mean, whatever.

word!

I love it.

Wow! How super edgy of you to insult someone's writing by saying, “that's so yesterday.” Honestly, who are you to tell someone to not express themselves through writing? Better yet, where can we read a timely piece that you've written? Or do you just sit around reading French philosophers all day without producing anything of your own?

fuck….

Whether you are taking home some random or losing your virginity for the first time at 30, live that shit up. You deserve it and I am cheering you on.

LOVEEE THAT PART

Great antidote to that insufferable “Sex, So What?” article that mysteriously disappeared from the site.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011…

THANK YOU. this was a response piece to that!

yeah! what happened to that piece? i commented something and went back to see if there was a response and the whole thing was gone. WTF!

great article. i'm pretty much let my freak flag fly too. but the going down while on your period – woah! i've had sex while on my period, but getting eaten out is just beyond!

Correction: has *never* gotten any.

Exactly what I needed.

Yeah girl!

God fucking forbid

no mention of tea-bagging?

hell yeah, let your freak flag fly! most people are more open-minded in bed than you would expect them to be. self-consciousness brings the mood way down, just have fun with it!

Attention every other woman on earth: you see this shit? This is the shit right here. Dig on this shit. Learn this shit. LOVE this shit. Anyone who can't get on board can get the fuck out, and take their body and daddy issues with them. If you're going to fuck, fuck, and stop endlessly fretting about it.

Don't tell me what to do! You don't know me, fuck. I will do what I want with my body and have as many daddy issues as I want, bitch. And my guy better fucking love that shit. Dig on my shit love that shit eat that shit.

glad to know there are other women out there who are normal

I could not have said it better.

Fuck yes!

I absolutely love this post. It's very honest and I really commend the author because not many people can be this honest like you have. And I'm glad that you told your bfs what you want. I think it's good to take charge when it comes to having your need met. Good on ya!

Love it!

Whoever the dude is that went down on you while on your period deserves a war medal. I am all for this article, and who doesn't love getting oral sex–but your period? Thick, viscous blood is coming out of you–as well as your uterine lining. It's not a question of him being a prude or non-GGG, I can't imagine that anyone outside of a blood/cannibalism fetishist would be okay with swallowing (not to mention tasting) significant amounts of it. That is a tall order for anyone, and if he did it to please you and didn't vomit, he's my new personal hero.

I've never been skinny but I couldn't identify more with this author. Flaws and all, I learned a long time ago to enjoy life, and in this life there just so happens to be sex (wonderful, wonderful sex).

Oh dear! Sarcasm own goal everyone… lol

you…you looked up sex in the dictionary?!?

but i liked it. :)

I don't know if you have read it yet, but the book Sex at Dawn is totally up your alley. Check it out if you haven't already!

Receiving oral sex during menstruation is amazing. Your partner should be focusing on your clit and not your vaginal opening, so it really isn't gross at all. If you're nervous about it take a shower before hand and put in a fresh tampon. :)

I've gone down on my girlfriend while she was on her period. It wasn't a big deal, unless ur after to drink blood, you can easily do it w/o getting(that) messy.

Maybe it's because I had daily nose bleeds as a kid that the taste of blood doesn't put me off though. If anything, it's my gf who is more unwiling to do anythign sexual during her time of the month.

Its not nearly as gross as you'd think…if you just stay away from the hole…keep the tampon in and direct stimulation to the clit…there is no blood and no bad smells (unless there normally is). You'd better not deviate from that plan, though, or you may regret it!

You are brilliant! Thanks for making my day. :)

Perfect!!!

Ms. Oliver, if only everyone was as honest and self-loving as you, we wouldn't need porn.

It should also be said that it's perfectly fine not to do the things you don't want to do. Just because someone asks, doesn't mean you should feel obligated or that you're a boring prude if you don't–and vice versa. It's all about trying new thing and finding out what you both like.

Amen and thank you!

You couldn't have said it much better.

I think it's wonderful when a woman possesses sexual confidence and finds sex to be something fun and pleasurable without expectations.  I've done a lot of research and conducted my own studies on hook ups in college and women are overwhelmingly more regretful and ashamed then men – but that isn't because they just need to cut loose, “raise their freak flag” or break free from societal restraints.  Overwhelmingly, it's because they did it for the wrong reasons – it was outside of their values, they wanted the man to love them, they wanted to feel attractive, and/or they were pressured by their peers.

I think sexual confidence is always the goal, but so is doing it for reasons that are right for you a no one else.

sex is good…but your kinda a hoebag

no. fuck you. grow up.

I really love this. Living shamelessly is the best way to live.

sounds to me that watching a lot of porn in your developing years turned you into a dirty bitch.

I can relate so much!!

This is nothing new, not in the least. Kiney's records show that many people, men and women, do many of these things. This is not a daring new report but rather a well written personal account of a person's AVERAGE sexual history.

no.fuck.you.jasper.using.all.of.these.periods.makes.you.look.like.your.on.yours.douche bag.

It's you're

love it!

Kinsey nothing. A recent study of internet porn searches (http://dominantother.blogspot…. revealed that there really isn't anything “normal” at all.  A lot of the results were very surprising. The underlying thesis is that there's no such thing as sexual deviance,
and that such cases of fetishism have been improperly diagnosed by
clinicians.

I love love love this blog. I stumbled on it, and I just think it's amazing. Thank you for your honesty; be fierce girl! Be fierce! :)

Wow I came across this on stumbleupon and thought it was one of the humor articles so I was waiting for a punchline. The article had a “stupid” tone to it that most humor articles have so I was so convinced that there would be some kinda funny punchline at the end. I can't believe I wasted my time reading this shit. *Sigh*

I really enjoyed it.
Very well written, to the point and very evovcative.
However!
If a bloke had written this, he would now be getting told that he is a womanising asshole, a cheavenist (sp?) and to GTFO.

I think everyone was tearing into that girl for writing it… the “I don't masturbate because it's not my job” line in her article raised the world's collective eyebrow.

But… is she chubby cuz i can't get down with that

It's crazy how much i can relate to this.

i think i remember doing you

I can totally relate to this. Thank you I thought I was alone. :)

I get what you're saying but I kind of want to punch you in the face.Yeah, I get it, sex is fun for you, you're really well adjusted. I'm glad no one you trusted ever raped you when you were four. It's great you didn't have the living shit beaten out of you by your ultra religious parents when they caught you masturbating. I'm glad it's so easy breezy for you to enjoy your body that you feel comfortable writing this weird essay that comes across as half – bragging, and half-condemning people who don't find it as easy as you do.
You seem like you have no idea what a privilege it is to have grown up with your body and space respected, and you don't understand why us silly mortals are all hung up on sex. Oh, gee, I guess my problem is that I wasn't having enough fun, not that I was frightened so wholly out of my body at such a young age that I never entirely came back to it. Silly me.I get what you're saying but I kind of want to punch you in the face.Yeah, I get it, sex is fun for you, you're really well adjusted. I'm glad no one you trusted ever raped you when you were four. It's great you didn't have the living shit beaten out of you by your ultra religious parents when they caught you masturbating. I'm glad it's so easy breezy for you to enjoy your body that you feel comfortable writing this weird essay that comes across as half – bragging, and half-condemning people who don't find it as easy as you do.You seem like you have no idea what a privilege it is to have grown up with your body and space respected, and you don't understand why us silly mortals are all hung up on sex. Oh, gee, I guess my problem is that I wasn't having enough fun, not that I was frightened so wholly out of my body at such a young age that I never entirely came back to it. Silly me.

I get what you're saying but I kind of want to punch you in the face.Yeah, I get it, sex is fun for you, you're really well adjusted. I'm glad no one you trusted ever raped you when you were four. It's great you didn't have the living shit beaten out of you by your ultra religious parents when they caught you masturbating. I'm glad it's so easy breezy for you to enjoy your body that you feel comfortable writing this weird essay that comes across as half – bragging, and half-condemning people who don't find it as easy as you do.
It seems like you have no idea what a privilege it is to have grown up with your body and space respected, and doesn't understand why us silly mortals are all hung up on sex. Oh, gee, I guess my problem is that I wasn't having enough fun, not that I was frightened so wholly out of my body at such a young age that I never entirely came back to it. Silly me. My bad.

The above post is an accidental repeat.  Not sure how that happened.  Sorry.

Do you finding yourself resenting everybody who has a healthy sexuality, or just those who express having a healthy sexuality?

Liking sex and having confidence during doesn't make you a 'hoebag', as a note. I kind of thought we were past the whole mentality that women should be meek and subdued in bed, and those that aren't are viewed as whores or sluts because people associate confidence with experience, and experience with sleeping around. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Take your dark age inferrances elseware.

No sense in attacking HER — sounds like there's others in your life you need to talk with.

the point of of this is that shes saying that you should be confident and try to forget whatever it is YOUre talking about… why are you attacking her

you don't have to hate on people because your life wasn't what you wanted it to be like… You can feel pain and be desapointed but if your parents (and i totally understand you here) are…special and alwayz want to controle every single aspect of your life, it is NOT her fault. So let her share her feelings about sex if that's she wants.

Don't take it out on her. I had the same kind of upbringing you describe, except I was sexually assaulted, not beaten, when I was caught touching myself, at 6 years old.  I continued to be sexually abused until I was 21. The way she describes feeling about sex? I feel the same way. It was NEVER “easy-breezy” for me to become comfortable in my body and feel secure enough to experiment sexually without having flashbacks. It was hell; it was a long, hard, ugly road, filled with confronting and processing all the soul-crushing rape and sadism and abuse; but for whatever reason, I got to a point where I feel safe and respected and autonomous, and able to freely enjoy my sexuality. Not everybody ever gets there. It *is* possible, though.

maybe she did have an upbringing like you, maybe it sounds like bragging because she's finally worked through her issues, and is so happy that she is comfortable finally. maybe she's lying about the whole thing cause she wishes she could be this way one day. who knows really..

This piece of writing wasn't about you or focused on people who have been hurt. You are being unfair, really. Was she saying hey you people who have raped, get over it…???? You do sound messed up and that makes people paranoid. I hope you get help…

I dont think that is necessarily true.

You really think this girl cares about your asshole parents or that anyone reading this does? Get over yourself. Whoopde you were raped at four, you didn't even know what was gong on at four don't lie to try and get sympathy. Were you raped like large penis in your baby hole? if so get over it, if not stop lying and try not to be so self centered. Sex is fun and when I fantasize about raping my wife while we are having sex it is fun. When I get a fist in my arse it is fun and yes, when I was raped (not raped but molested) it was not fun but I am over it and now I have fun.

This is what's wrong with this fucking planet.

you're a moron. die in a fire.

What do you want, a medal? Rats can fuck.

Based on your reply, though, I CAN believe you “wasted” your time commenting on it.

You probably deserved to be raped you fat stupid fuck

what, liking sex? what about melting icecaps and infant mortality? get your priorities straight dude!!

Either it be sex or anything Embrace it!  I believe that's her message to us all.  Instead of criticizing, judging or projecting your pain, think about it, embrace it all and apologize for nothing.

Condoms!  Just sayin

You are a twisted and disturbed individual for trivializing rape at the age of 4.
Please seek help or better still get mauled by rapid dogs.

I'm confused, what are we arguing over again?

its so fucking obvious though…kinda goes without saying

But they don't have the same emotional capacity that humans have.

fail.

jeez u guys are douches take it how it is, fuck quit judgein i mean fuck its just a damn essay blog thing about being comfortable with urself dont regret everything is wat she is tryin to say its not that big of a damn deal , chill out if u dont like it dont read it again and again move on to the next page u guys that have had drama brought to ur life thats not this girls fault she didnt say rape or molest anybody she just said have fun and enjoy life jeez chill out damn…i just stumbled on this page and reading ur guys douchey comments pissed me off, personally i agree great job on the post!!!

Take it easy! This is not written about you so chill man! Why don't “you” write about your own experiences and not judge a person who obviously have a healthy view on sex. Yes, it's true not everyone will or have had a good experience but this does not give you the right to put this person down. Mind your own business! Heard of the saying if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. Well, that applies to you!

don’t you feel cheap after you did so many guys and let them fuck you easily?

My bf and I used to hate having sex on period, it was just too nasty. but after
I read this interesting website http://sexonperiod.com
 I learned how to spice it up during
these days. Men are so simple, just give them great sex and you will keep them
forever, LOL :)

where did it ever say how many guys she had sex with??

You sound like incredibly self-righteous about being abused. Thanks for sharing randomly, it complete excuses you being a jealous ass.