Film Characters I’ve Wanted To Date
Johnny Castle, Dirty Dancing
Castle is kind of the perfect man: blue-collar work ethic, wears a uniform (black on black, typically), pro-choice. And he can dance! (Not that I can dance; I can sort of fake my way through “Thriller” but I’m no Fred Astaire.) Here’s the greatest part: you can be the most uncoordinated, out-of-touch, awkward beanpole on the planet and Johnny will overlook all of that if you’ve got a kind soul. (I also have it on good authority that he knows all of the words to “She’s Like the Wind.”)
Rob Gordon, High Fidelity
Sure, Rob Gordon is totally neurotic, paralyzed by nostalgia, and perpetually heartbroken – which makes him an ideal match for me. I just wanna be with someone I can work through my issues with (preferably an audiophile), you know? Plus, he probably makes a killer mix tape. Mix CD. Playlist. Jesus Christ, I hate 2011.
Matthew Kidman, The Girl Next Door
Matthew doesn’t bend to societal norms. Stigma is no match for the one he loves. A champion of sexual education, Matthew (Matt?) is progressive and motivated when “the juice is worth the squeeze.”
Ren McCormack, Footloose
Another dirty dancer – if you’re noticing a pattern here, it’s no mistake. I vetted my first ex-boyfriend after discovering him during my junior high choir’s winter concert. I like the singin’ and the dancin’. Ren is smart, ambitious, and not afraid to use the Bible to defend John Mellencamp. Footloose is full of these endearing moments that counteract Kevin Bacon’s misdeeds in Sleepers (namely, the solo dance number in the warehouse – the warehouse scene can not be denied).
Jack Dawson, Titanic
Never was there a more attractive “starving artist” than Jack Dawson. It’s been almost 15 years and I still remember how I felt the first time I saw Kate Winslet’s handprint cut through all of that impassioned, poverty fog (horny). Pretty sure watching Jack die was the first, second, and third time I ever cried over a guy.
Danny Zuko, Grease
Danny Zuko is singlehandedly responsible for women who believe that a guy acting like an asshole is just a precursor for a revelation that he’s actually madly and pathetically in love. Still, when someone does you wrong it’s natural to hope they’ll atone for their sins in public, humiliating ways like basically rubbing one out to your likeness in the middle of a carnival or trying out for an athletic team they’re not qualified for.
Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
No straight woman on god’s green earth would pass up the chance to date Ferris Bueller. He could charm the habit off a nun. Ferris is exciting, reckless, and best of all? He treats Sloane like the fun, intelligent, hot girlfriend she is. A bad boy, but not a bad boyfriend. Bravo.
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