Dating Hiatus: Day Three

Sep. 23, 2011
She used to produce movies in Hollywood. Now she writes stuff in New York.

I’ve been perched in front of a dating slot machine this past year; pulling the lever over and over again, encouraging myself to keep going out because I might be just one spin away from the jackpot. A “win” for me would be to meet someone who I want to spend two or three nights a week with. I’m not looking to get married or preggo or even split my rent.

I want a regular Saturday night dude and an occasional weeknight sleepover.

I want to put a boy in my iPhone favorites to call for a spontaneous celebration when I get great news. I want him to answer when I’ve had a bad day, and suggest that we take a bottle of wine to the Hudson River Park and lie in the grass and make each other laugh until I forget what I was angry about. I want to offer the same to him in return.

I want this boy to be motivated, interesting, intelligent, successful, affectionate, good in bed, optimistic, and funny. I don’t want him to be a picky eater, addicted to anything (drugs, alcohol or work), obsessed with sports, video games or his pet.

I haven’t found anyone like this, but I have been entertained by my dates nonetheless. I love meeting new people, asking them questions, and hearing a fresh perspective. I appreciate being shown a new way of looking at things through someone else’s point of view. I always walk away with either a good experience or at least a good story to entertain my friends with.

Lately, though, I’ve started to feel a little frayed around the edges. Suddenly I’m tired of asking these dudes questions, and definitely tired of being asked the same questions by my friends, starting with “How was your date last night?”

So I’ve decided to take a month long dating hiatus. I’m on Day 3. I’d like to accomplish a few things in this period:

  • Get more than four hours of sleep every night.
  • Go straight home from work at least two nights a week, thus reducing my budget and my alcohol intake.
  • Watch some of this new fall TV I keep hearing about. My cable bill is too high to justify my current usage – playing Law & Order while I fall asleep.
  • Run three nights a week, which will be so much easier now that I’m not drunk and sleep deprived (see first two points).

I spent Day 1 dining and drinking with friends. None of my four objectives were addressed. I feel it’s best to ease slowly into a new schedule.

On Day 2, I went to Trader Joe’s because doing this straight-home-from-work thing means no waiters bringing me food. There were cute boys in there. Does that always happen in grocery stores? I tried to focus on the merchandise on the shelves, not in the aisles. I had a brief fantasy involving organic quinoa and a man dressed oddly in a fancy suit but dirty Converse sneakers. I grabbed some peanut noodles and spent the night talking to friends on the phone. Somehow I was still awake at 2 a.m. But I didn’t drink a drop, so there’s that.

Day 3. I didn’t buy enough groceries last night but Trader Joe’s is clearly a hotbed of sexual tension that I should avoid. I caved and logged into OK Cupid. I went running to burn off some of my, shall we say, frustration and there were hot, shirtless men everywhere. This boy break may be harder to stick to than I realized. TC mark

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image – Hjem

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  • aimee

    This is my life right now. The fact that I still get turned on by all of the hipster-professional-quinoa-eating men in the produce department in Trader Joe’s really concerns me.

    “Somehow I was still awake at 2 a.m. But I didn’t drink a drop, so there’s that.”
    –I’m actually impressed. Honestly, all this not-dating-boys just makes my drinking habit even more out of control…hence the bottle of wine I finished last night in my fit of sexual frustration.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    You’re onto something. Let us know how you feel on day 7, eh?

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    You’re onto something. Let us know how you feel on day 7, eh?

  • Anonymous

    Trader Joe’s on 14 th st circa 7.45? i wear those shitkickers when i decide to walk 60 blocks home. Of course I know that makes me only 1 of thousands of people employing the same strategy, but its way more awesome to assume that an organic quinoa thinks my suits are fancy.

  • http://karyninny.com/ karyn

    loving the choice of a cat for the pic…i’m officially an old crazy cat lady now. 

  • Newp

    dude do you do anything but go on okcupid dates and then write about them thirty seconds later

    how old are you

    this shit is depressing

  • Vicky

    After this week of the new fall season premieres, TV will be all down hill. Stick to the running with shirtless men and looking or the guys in the suits with sneakers at Trader Joes . You just never know. That boy you seek could be around the next corner. I’m sending an angel to plant one right in your path. Be on the lookout.
    Karyn you will never be a crazy old cat lady. Neva-eva!
    I do so love the way you write. xoxo

  • sarah

    ha– the funny thing is I had a bad okc date on Monday and declared a hiatus that night, so I am on day 4 (after about a year of pulling the lever as well). Anyway, I hear  ya, sister. It’s pretty grueling. 

  • JJ

    Wow, this made me feel vicariously frantic and desperate
    Thanks for that!

  • Anonymous

    http://www.lovetoshopping.org  Cheapest Vans Shoes,Tiffany Jewelry Company,Wholesale Hollister Clothing 

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