Communicating in the ‘90s

I can relate to this article.

omg, i remember dictating a message to someone in a call center, to be sent to my mother's pager. so crazy.

i laughed at this, so shame on both of us.

“The ‘__'s were the last decade of genuine emotion;”

I feel like people have been mourning the death of authenticity forever. Also, it's still meaningful, time-consuming, and expensive to create a REAL relationship (even > 20's like myself make the distinction between web-relationships and those IRL), and we're all still poor and unemployed.

But really, you're right. Great article.

What about those answering machine messages from like, '96-98 wherein you could make your computer record the greeting in its creepy, Speak-n-Spell robot voice?

Or better, the message that leads simply with, “Hello?” and a long pause, “Uh-huh,” and a long pause.. etc. Which was hilarious. The first nine hundred and seventy-eleven thousand times.

zomg! your writing style and tone makes me want to gouge my eyes out. omg! seriously find a real job

Nice.

dad? is that you?

Thank you for casually dismissing every bit of heartbreak, sadness, and joy anyone's felt over the past decade because you're annoyed by people checking their Facebook on iPhones.

seems legit

She didn't do that!

This is the most tasteless gimmick account on TC.

I wish we could all stop communicating and live simpler lives like Ted Kaczynski.

this was both insightful and interesting. something I certainly don't miss about the 90s, however, is the dial-up sound. it will haunt my nightmares forever

“It’s because someone could destroy you emotionally and you’d never hear from them again, and you’d know what it really felt like to have a broken heart and what it’s like to not be able to do anything about it.”
And that can't happen now, because of technology? I really beg to differ.
Aside from that, I relate to this article. All of the communication technology has really kind of made us more isolated than ever. Twitter and Facebook and instant messages are so impersonal compared to a good old-fashioned phone call.

fuck

You can still get your heart broken, and feel helpless (as I have lived these things with all of the modern technologies I've referenced), but in that line I'm speaking to how easy it was to disappear to the point where someone else could never even attempt to get closure. It is possible to “disappear” now, but only theoretically through avoidance measures/death.

Say someone sends me a “sorry, please forgive me/don't leave” text/e-mail/Facebook message. I'll still read that message, although maybe I won't respond, but the likelihood that I haven't read the message is tiny. So while I may be actively ignoring/avoiding someone, it's not the same as “I'm moving to Arizona/Dubai/Iowa and you tried to stop me by showing up to the airport, but you were late, so now I'm gone forever unless you find me in the phone book” [thus exerting much more effort than sending e-messages until you get the hint that someone is ignoring you; also leaving the possibility that you'll never get to tell someone how you feel simply because you can't find them].

Hi Justin,

I'm sorry I made you feel that I was casually dismissing emotions. That wasn't my intention. My point is e-mail vs. love letter. Text message vs. phone call. Conducting a relationship/friendship mostly through wires vs. being present and showing your face. I'm guilty as hell. We all settle for less when we mistake a “digital connection” for spending time with people and making efforts to show people they are worth our time.

Also, I am not mad at people who check Facebook on their iPhones. In 10-20 years, I will wish people were only checking their Facebook on their iPhones. Who knows what we'll be doing by then? Probably not writing love letters, making phone calls, or showing face.

lovely article

Ah, jeez, taking my flippant attempt at a smart-assed comment and giving a thoughtful reply. Dammit.

The part that got me was your last paragraph, or namely the idea that “The ‘90s were the last decade of genuine emotion; the last time harvesting relationships took time, money, and effort. ” If the heartbreak and loss and happiness I've personally felt in the past isn't real, then what is? Plus, I'm of the mind that nostalgia is regressive and maybe even dangerous in a certain way culturally because we need to — have to — keep moving forward for our own stupid good. And that we can't go back to the “good ol' days” because they gone and never were really that good to begin with. So instead of genuine emotion disappearing, we're simply adapting our emotions, the same way we have since technological advance in communication has allowed us. In my mind we're no worse off or better than we've been throughout history. I mean, I had a bowl cut through most of the '90s, so good riddance.

I personally can't buy into the idea that anyone finds Facebook or any other social networking site as real human interaction. I think — or at least hope — that we all just see it as a way to waste time because we're just here to fart around. Or a way to feel better about oneself, by being able to cultivate and control their online persona, in a way that's not possible for them to control in real life. That may or may not be a good thing. In a way, you could make the argument that it takes more effort to make a real, lasting, quality relationship, because you have to fight through all the static of technology to have a real human connection. I guess the most important aspect of that, though, is that we make sure these are values we still hold. We physically and mentally need to touch another person, to hold their hand or watch a movie together, to be all gross and cuddly. It's our onus, our whole purpose as big, dumb animals, and no amount of technology will ever kill that off.

I may or may not have ignored your points and just ranted for a moment. Apologies for that.

my friend totally has that as her ringtone now

“The ‘90s were the last decade of genuine emotion”

Crazyyyyyyyyy, this one made me think. I like it, I like it a lot.

<3

I’m so sick of internet writing that pretends it’s written by a 12 year old. Grow the fuck up.

Glad I’m not the only one missing that time.  Thanks for this article, I was moved by your last few paragraphs.