Accurate Tourism Slogans For Several American Cities

Disclaimer: These would all make terrible tourism slogans.
Aug. 16, 2011

By Josh Gondelman info

Josh Gondelman is a writer and comedian who incubated in Boston before moving to New York City.

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Austin, TX: “If you like bands no one has heard of and desert heat, give Austin a chance!”

Salem, NH: “No, we’re not that Salem.”

Sheridan, WY: “Come visit us in your truck! What? You don’t drive a truck? Forget it.”

Brooklyn, NY: “Stay close to a hipster, or you could get murdered! Sorry!”

Columbus, OH: “We’re the capital of Ohio! That’s got to count for something.”

Boston, MA: “We get away with racism because we have gay marriage and foliage!”

Hartford, CT: “Keep driving! You’re halfway through Connecticut!”

Seattle, WA: “Sorry, we’ll try to stop bumming you out by raining and bringing up our exes.”

Portland, OR: “Man up, Seattle — get some strip clubs! Also, tattoos!”

Minneapolis, MN: “Please give us a shot! Thanks!”

Los Angeles, CA: “Our buildings are climate controlled, as are our personalities.”

San Francisco, CA: “Natural habitat of vegan hobos!”

Norfolk, NE: “Come check out our corn! We’ve got a pie in the oven.”

Chattanooga, TN: We have an aquarium! There are more whales than Jewish people here!”

Aspen, CO: “Come be rich with us!”

Las Vegas, NV: “Save some for the whores.”

Santa Cruz, CA: “Cowabunga!”

Detroit, MI: “On second thought, maybe not.” TC mark

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image – Hotash

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  • Guset

    this is pretty weak

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    I’m from Mnpls and I’m definitely not that polite.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    I’m from Mnpls and I’m definitely not that polite.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    I’m from Mnpls and I’m definitely not that polite.

  • http://twitter.com/Ouleena ♔

    ACCURATE.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hannaraddness Hanna Nichole Mullins

    There’s not a Kentucky city on here, how sad. 

  • http://whoismau.tumblr.com/ Mauricio

    Miami: We’re as corrupt as the rest of the cities in Latin America!

  • http://twitter.com/galette_rois Julian Galette

    And where the fuck is Philadelphia! America was born here damn it!

  • http://twitter.com/galette_rois Julian Galette

    And where the fuck is Philadelphia! America was born here damn it!

  • Guest

    how did norfolk, ne get on this list? how do you even know that norfolk, ne is a place?

  • Guest

    yikes this is lame 

  • Guest

    yikes this is lame 

  • Guesty

    womp womp lame

  • Guesty

    Portland isn’t cooler than Seattle

  • Guesty

    HEY NAME TWIN! 

  • Idoitforthelulz

    Though Catalog: “Stop on by and be immediately disappointed with what we write!”

  • Guest

    what the fuck is a norfolk?

  • Guesty

    Disappointment Catalog :’(

  • Josh Gondelman

    I don’t know much about Kentucky. It would have just been “Louisville: More fun than you’d expect!” which is how I feel about it.

  • Josh Gondelman

    I don’t know much about Kentucky. It would have just been “Louisville: More fun than you’d expect!” which is how I feel about it.

  • Josh Gondelman

    Philadelphia: “Get the fuck out of here!  Hey, wait!  Where are you going?”

  • Paolo

    Holy shit I live in Sheridan, WY!!

  • spinflux

    The fuck it’s not. 

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    I liked this.. Pretty accurate from what I’ve heard!

  • Emily Hoss

    dislike. Detroit is good enough for Kid Rock, and it’s definitely good enough for me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504951716 Tau Zaman

    Boston: TRUTH. Though the foliage thing is vanishing.

  • Josh Gondelman

    I’m from Boston! It’s crazytown! I love the city, but the racism is so bonkers!

  • http://twitter.com/charlottesachs Charlotte Sachs
  • http://kharlamovaa.wordpress.com Arina Kharlamova

    I love Canada, but this was a little weak. :( SORRY.

  • http://twitter.com/onlinetaxpros OnlineTaxPros.com

    I always look on these to see if my state is on here…*no Arkansas* *thinks of one for Arkansas*… I got nothing!

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