50 Things To Say During A Breakup

Nov. 15, 2011

By January Nelson info

January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer. Her work has appeared on Facebook, ...

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Every relationship is a unique, special snowflake – until it dissolves. Then its contents are reduced to cliché-riddled proclamations and accusations. Breakups bring the crappy screenwriter out in all of us. One minute we’re all, “You are the warmest socks on the coldest winter day,” and the next we’re reciting lines from a Jennifer Aniston movie. Here, compiled for your convenience (and avoidance) – the 50 most overused breakup phrases.
  1. We need to talk.
  2. Are you okay?
  3. So what does this mean?
  4. I’m so sorry.
  5. I’m just trying to do what’s right for both of us.
  6. I want my key back.
  7. I just need some time to think about things.
  8. I never meant to hurt you.
  9. Is this really what you want?
  10. This is hard for me, too.
  11. I hope we can still be friends.
  12. What am I going to tell [our friends/my parents/the kids]?
  13. There’s no one else, I swear.
  14. I’m just not ready to settle down.
  15. Where is this going?
  16. So it’s really over, then.
  17. I love you.
  18. I hate you.
  19. I can’t do this anymore.
  20. You’re going to make someone so happy someday.
  21. You’re making a huge mistake.
  22. Get out.
  23. What about [the shared pet/our impending vacation/the kids]?
  24. I knew it.
  25. I’m not in love with you anymore.
  26. Where is this coming from?
  27. I can’t believe this.
  28. You’re more like a [roommate/friend/sibling]
  29. I need to focus on my career.
  30. You’re not the person I fell in love with.
  31. All we do is fight.
  32. I wish I never met you.
  33. There’s someone else.
  34. Are you sure?
  35. I just need some space.
  36. It’s over, it has been for a while.
  37. I can’t even look at you anymore.
  38. It’s not me, it’s you.
  39. Its not you, it’s me.
  40. How could you do this to me?
  41. I think you’re an amazing person.
  42. Tell me you’re going to be okay.
  43. You deserve better than this.
  44. Don’t ever talk to me again.
  45. I just want things to go back to how they used to be.
  46. I never cheated on you.
  47. When can I pick up my stuff?
  48. Who is [he/she/it]?
  49. You broke my heart.
  50. This isn’t working. TC mark

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image – Katy Ter Haar

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  • monica

    :(

  • http://twitter.com/whyhelloclarice Marjorie Baxter

    Well, that was sufficiently depressing. 

  • Brooke

    pretty sure i just said all those things to my now ex-boyfriend this weekend when we broke up.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steven-Timberman/922794 Steven Timberman

    My problem is that some of these I give as compliments. “All we do is fight” is a good thing, damn it! Now tell me how wrong I am, let us argue and then fall back into bed together! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1552230509 Blake Austin

    I think you forgot, “I sabotaged this so I wouldn’t have to be the one to end it.”

    Wait, shit. Is that just me?

  • Rishtopher

    “the 50 most overused breakup phrases”, isn’t that what you meant for the title?

    “50 Things To Say During A Breakup” gives me the impression that I SHOULD be saying these things..

  • Emil Linnet

    Overused? No. Used a lot? Yes. legitimate? Definitely.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=704016484 Joe Ott

    51. Breakup sex?
    52. We were dating?
    53. Shit, I guess I should mention that those bumps ARE…
    54. I disagree. We’re not broken up until I agree, too.
    55. [defriend]
    56. Your going bald/You’re too fat now.
    57. Goodbye.
    58. Its been fun. This is rocket man, signing out.

  • Anonymous

    I always try to come up with a sentence that contains as many of these as possible in order to breakup with a dignity. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    “Probably for the best.” 

  • Klàrika Rufino

    I don’t love tou anymore

  • CausticWit

    51. I’m gay

    • katie

      52. I’m pregnant.

  • letdown

    i hate this. really a downer.

  • amazing girl

    hahaha, if i had a nickel for every time i’ve gotten #41

  • Pattie

    So what do you say?

  • http://twitter.com/amseries Allysa Marie S.

    Truth hurts, indeed.

  • Waicool

    thought list

  • Jo L.

    I think I used half of these last weekend :/ sadface

  • Mirada75

    It’s not you, it’s me; I just don’t like you like you anymore

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexis-Jordan-Christy/1051286178 Alexis Jordan Christy

    lolol number 11. I’m sure most of us know what a crock of shit that is

  • MKorostoff

    “Hurting is soooooo unoriginal.” Fuck you. I’ll take sincerity over creativity any day.

  • Josiah988

    For your next article:
    “Top TOTALLY uncool things to say at a funeral1. I’m sorry for your loss2. He’s in a better place3. He looks so peaceful4. He lived a good life5. May he rest in peace”You sniveling child, sometimes saying the thing you mean is more important than saying something new.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2311203 Kevin Pritchard

    19. Everytime. 

  • Sibby

    “I think we should take a break” still rings in my ears.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514010848 Yann Icus

    Reading that felt like i just kicked a bee-hive

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