5 Moments When You Realize You Need More Friends

Oct. 10, 2011

By Ryan O'Connell info

I write and edit Thought Catalog. I'm a brat. Send me fun things at ryan@thoughtcatalog.com

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That moment when all you want to do is lie in bed and watch TV all day but don’t really wanna do it alone. You’re feeling medium anti-social but you know that if you don’t hang out with someone, you risk falling into a serious fugue. So you scan the contacts in your phone and realize that you would need to do some sort of activity in order to hang out with most of your friends. You might really like them and have lots of fun together but you aren’t on that level where you can have long moments of silence together. You need more friends like that.

That moment when you score an invite to a cool opening or party and have a plus one. It’s going to be a specific kind of crowd where you’ll need to bring the certain kind of friend. You rack your brain and realize that no one in your social life would really fit in or have fun. You don’t want to go alone so you just stay home and are bitter, thinking about how you need more friends like who are more *insert description here*

That moment when you’re sick and need to ask your friends for help. When you think about whom to ask though you’re disheartened by the lack of options. “WTF?” you think to yourself. “When did I realize that my friends were all evil?”

That moment when you’re in a giant group of people and you still feel completely alone and alienated. You realize you don’t respect most of the people around you and need to find a new group of people who are more like you. This realization sucks. You can spend years cultivating bogus friendships and have to start all over again in order to have a satisfying social life.

That moment when you realize all of your friends got into relationships or consumed by work and it’s Saturday afternoon and you have no one to call. This moment has crept on you. You had no idea that it had already came to this but here you are. La-dee-da. It’s enough to make you miss high school when the friends may have been fairweathered, but boy were they plentiful. TC mark

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  • avid reader

    too true. uncomfortably true.

    • JT

      that moment when its a holiday or some sort like 4th of july or labor weekend and no one has invited you to anything and you stay at home drinking PBR til the fireworks come on. 

  • ANG

    Damn. That moment where you’re with a giant group and you still feel alienated and alone. Yeah, that one.

  • ADV

    I’ll be said *insert description here* friend. CALL ME, BABE!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    The moment when you realize that your post about not having enough friends has no insight into what that really means because, come on, really?

    • Montyclift1920

      Wow. I always notice your comments on this website and they’re always so negative. After the first week, it didn’t strike you that perhaps your time would be better spent at other sites?

      You sound like a shrill mess.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

        You always notice my negative comments. I find it to be a strange phenomenon that people take the time out of their busy days to call me out on being negative when I never get a single howdy-doody about all of the positive things I say. Shove it, pal.

  • Zhaojanelle

    Haha bullseye. Sometimes the sacrifice of a social life momentarily is worth it. Just have to know what you are gaining in return.

  • Zhaojanelle

    Haha bullseye. Sometimes the sacrifice of a social life momentarily is worth it. Just have to know what you are gaining in return.

  • _____

    next time please dont write an article that i can identify with/feel shitty about and then not finish it with some positive message or analysis :(

  • Chivasnut7

    One of those sad but true realizations. These moments happen, more important is how we response to them.

  • http://twitter.com/palespectre flipside of a memory

    This is all too real, that as much as it pains me to say it, all my “friends” or people I talk to right now are behind their computers, like me. I probably spend everyday scanning my phone for people to invite, but I’m at the point where I am tired of inviting and being let down/cancelled on.

    I really need more friends, only my deodorant hasn’t let me down.

    • jessie

      That’s exactly how I felt.

    • Annie_Chan5

      Been there. There’s nothing more disheartening than spending hours trying to find someone to be with only to be refused or cancelled on by everyone you try.
      Then you feel like a loser for sitting at home with a movie even though you would have been fine with it if you hadn’t been looking for plans in the first place.

      • http://twitter.com/palespectre flipside of a memory

        The good thing is now I’ve seen a lot of the films on my “must watch” list.

  • macgyver51

    Good friends and relationships require hard work but usually stand the test of growing up, marriage, work, ect. I’m thankful for mine and how we’ve transcended. It wasn’t always easy and it wasn’t always about me, but man it was worth it. Good thing its never too late to start.

  • erin pea

    2 true boyyy

  • Heykay

    LORD YES.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    Or, worse: you know exactly who to invite… if only they weren’t already out doing something with someone else.

  • Anonymous

    Yes I do need more friends who are *insert description here*.

  • Anonymous

    Yes I do need more friends who are *insert description here*.

  • Mpiotro2

    Thank God I’m not the only one who feels like this… I felt like I was failing a being a hip, young twenty-something. Although there’s no “positive message” at the end of this, it works for me because at least I know I’m not alone in feeling alone. 

  • guest

    #dark

  • whocares

    this is exactly where my life is at
    what a kick-ass way to spend my 20th year ;/

  • http://twitter.com/#!/_soniastr Sonia

    I used to feel like this. And then I got a cat. Now I don’t mind staying in by myself because at least I have my cat to keep me company.

    Typing all that out has sort of made me realize how pathetic that is.

    • guest

      same. also, cats never cancel on you.

  • Dinibeanie

    perhaps the first one hit a little bit too close to home right now…

  • guest

    Too real.  The fourth one really hit home.  I don’t know if I have the energy to start over again …

  • guest

    On your birthday. When you pretend you don’t want a birthday party because you’re “not into them” when really, you don’t know who to invite. Sucks.

    • http://twitter.com/palespectre flipside of a memory

      this is true… my birthday’s been like this for the past few years.  I mean I don’t want a birthday party because I’m not the sort to host one but nobody’s even bothered to surprise me or something. Haha. So I pretend I don’t care.  I’ve been alone on my past two birthdays, no one can even take the time to “urge” me to hang out. Yet I most definitely don’t want to sound desperate by harassing them to come spend my birthday with me.

    • Alison

      That was my birthday this year. My two closest friends had made other plans that night and I wasn’t invited, so I spent the night drinking wine and watching BBC alone in my apartment. I thought about figuring something else to do, but I had no one else to call.

  • Anonymous

    http://www.lovetoshopping.org 
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    Cheapest Vans Shoes,Tiffany Jewelry Company,Wholesale Hollister
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  • Katy

    That moment you hear of a one-off guest lecture at university, but none of your friends want to go because ‘it’ll be boring’. Cos apparently going on facebook all day is more inspiring than listening to a world leader talk.

    #needsmoreculturedfriends

  • Katy

    That moment you hear of a one-off guest lecture at university, but none of your friends want to go because ‘it’ll be boring’. Cos apparently going on facebook all day is more inspiring than listening to a world leader talk.

    #needsmoreculturedfriends

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