5 Legitimate Reasons To Get Drunk
1. You’re celebrating!
There’s nothing quite like celebrating good news or a special occasion with some booze. Go ahead, you’ve earned it! Last week I celebrated some good news and my birthday with two bottles of champagne on a WEDNESDAY, and damn if it didn’t feel good. I felt like I earned getting drunk because I proved that I’m a person who is doing worthwhile good things in society. I deserved to put my mind on vacay because it had been working overtime, hello?!
2. You’re reuniting with old friends!
Why do people love getting drunk with old friends so much? Whenever I go to my hometown or meet up with my best friends in California, it’s an unspoken thing that we’re all going to get shitfaced together later. Being drunk with them is like being reunited with my favorite album in high school. It feels comfortable, familiar, and is usually a guaranteed good time. When we’re drinking together, there’s little risk of things going awry. It’s just us reminiscing about the past like we’re in some warped version of Garden State. I love it.
3. You’re hanging out with your BF/ GF
Okay, I love getting drunk with someone I’m dating, especially if it’s at a house party or something. You can go and be your social drunk self, all while knowing that you have someone to go home with at the end of the night. There’s no pressure! You’re going to lazily hold hands in the cab and maybe make out a bit. When you get home, you’ll either try to have drunk kinky sex, which is mostly fun, or you’ll just pass out together in drunken harmony. You will feel so safe. At least I always do. I think it’s because I always feel so vulnerable whenever I leave a safe drunk space (like a bar or a house party) and have those minutes when I’m trying to get home. Sometimes it can just feel so lonely taking the subway or a cab in the early wasted morning. When you get drunk with a lover, you feel protected. (Warning: Getting drunk with your BF/ GF can also lead to weird miscommunications and fighting so just be careful, k?)
4. You’re home for the holidays!
Half of my family has been to rehab and the other half just genuinely doesn’t like booze so I grew up with dry holidays. I would hear hilarious stories about other people’s families getting wasted together though and would feel so envious. Nothing that exciting can happen when you’re drinking a can of soda. If I wasn’t the only person drinking, I would certainly get drunk with my family during the holidays just like everyone else does. Families are usually drowning in unspoken resentment and issues, so having a drink sounds not only liberating but necessary.
5. You’re bored and accidentally got wasted
I like getting accidentally drunk. It’s usually the quietest nights, the ones you don’t intend on getting drunk, that end up being the most crazy and fun. “Oops, I can’t believe I ordered another drink. What an unexpected turn this night is taking!” Usually when you drink, there’s an expectation of the night being fun and wild, which can often lead to disappointment. By keeping it casual on a boring Monday, you allow yourself to have a better time. No pressure!
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I always wanted to give a commencement speech.
My ears listened to what they wanted me to believe.
3. Don’t get mad, get everything.
But I am here to talk about realities, realities that are based on experiences, guy talks (who cares about that?) and late night chats with good female friends of mine.