4 Things People Don’t Tell You About New York

Love this. Good luck!

Typo on #3.

Why not just find a roommate? 

Ahahahaaa

But serriuosly

Go home

Jk

Tip #6 – don’t go to the hair cuttery (do they even have those in New York?) if you get the urge to “trim the split ends” while trying to grow it out because I promise you, that bitch with shred your hair 3-5 inches shorter than you anticipated. And then you won’t be able to use the excuse that you’re growing it out because it’s so short it looks like you stuck your head in a freaking weed whacker. So yeah, just keep growing it out, screw them split ends.

or you know, Tip #5. Whatever.

Man, if its that hard then I have no idea how a poor single mom with two kids can live there.

i survived barely 8 months in new york and cried when i decided to come back to chicago. new york was awful i don’t miss it. i love and appreciate chicago so much.

the 2nd year is always the hardest b/c you know what to expect of the fucking winter

Probably can’t.

You made it 2 months past me! Oddly enough, I didn’t hate the city so much as I did some of the douche bags I encountered there. Yet, here I am back in Cincinnati and wishing I was in another city… like a New York. Isn’t that a bitch? ;)

“Every time I smile big and say ‘Thank you so much!’ I feel so blindly Midwestern that I want to smack my own self in the face. ” — Hilarious! I’d say things like these enthusiastically just to piss people off because not that it meant anything or made it better, but at least I still had my manners. It could be the day from hell and you know there would be no silver lining, no polite person to check you out of the drugstore around the corner who actually said, “You’re welcome.”… So, I’d even add in a “Have a great day” or “Have a good one” as I walked out the door responding to their silence quietly with… “dick”.  Hang in there! You’ll make it happen, and if you retreat- no harm in that.

1. You have a typo in a headline. Have you heard of proofreading?
2. You are so bitter.
3. New York is wonderful and I would never change what I lived there for anything
4. Breaking news 26 y/o woman, the real world is hard in New York, Chicago or wherever you go. You will find unemployed people everywhere! Move to the South, you still will have to show that you are not broke to be able to get an apartment and HELLO if you are broke, you’ll have to live with roomates, sublease, etc. Just like I did when I lived in New York and never complained.
5. Get therapy for your misery, don’t infect the Thought Catalog with your very own personal issues and don’t ever talk bs about NY.

asshole much?

Aww I hope things get better for you soon! Living in a city is SO expensive! I have a full time job but don’t make that much and I’m struggling to eat this week. I feel your pain!

MARTHABUCA MAD
MARTHABUCA SMAAAAAAAAAAAAASH

Poor thing. I hope things turn around for you. Hang in there x

Very similar to London..,

wah wah wha…MAN THE FUCK UP.

wah wah wha…MAN THE FUCK UP.

wah wah wha…MAN THE FUCK UP.

Wahhhhh. But seriously on the haircut tip, Bumble & Bumble is always giving out free haircuts. Check craigslist – they post the kind and when you can make an appointment.

Buck up, learn to be hungry a lot and enjoy the fact that you can be there. The 2 years I lived in NYC were amazingly hard, but so fun and made me grow up and not write things like this.

Wahhhhh. But seriously on the haircut tip, Bumble & Bumble is always giving out free haircuts. Check craigslist – they post the kind and when you can make an appointment.

Buck up, learn to be hungry a lot and enjoy the fact that you can be there. The 2 years I lived in NYC were amazingly hard, but so fun and made me grow up and not write things like this.

Wahhhhh. But seriously on the haircut tip, Bumble & Bumble is always giving out free haircuts. Check craigslist – they post the kind and when you can make an appointment.

Buck up, learn to be hungry a lot and enjoy the fact that you can be there. The 2 years I lived in NYC were amazingly hard, but so fun and made me grow up and not write things like this.

Because there are no poor single moms here. Right? RIGHT!

NewYork Catalog

Isn’t Thought Catalog for this very thing?  New York City is in general crowded, smelly and rude.  So chill out Martha…this is one persons personal account of NYC.  You are so bitter.

I’ve never lived in NYC, but I worked a couple summers on Martha’s Vineyard in a town known for it’s NY monthly visitors in August. They are just down right MEAN. Disrespectful, unable to drive and practice common courtesies of the road, and yelling- ALWAYS yelling! At me, at other vactioners, at the other summer workers who endure their abuse with hope that they’d give us a decnt tip (because we all knew they had $ with their Land Rovrs and ridiculous “I’m rich but look like a disheveled mess”/completely yup-ified attire with always includes red pants or plaid shorts).

I was warned about the NY’ers and didn’t believe it. Until I was being screamed at because a woman told me I should be taking responsibility for the condition of the beach I had sold her a pass to. Really? Sorry lady, your botox’ed face is screaming injustice, but your ridiculously absurd demands scream “asshole”.

I’ve never lived in NYC, but I worked a couple summers on Martha’s Vineyard in a town known for it’s NY monthly visitors in August. They are just down right MEAN. Disrespectful, unable to drive and practice common courtesies of the road, and yelling- ALWAYS yelling! At me, at other vactioners, at the other summer workers who endure their abuse with hope that they’d give us a decnt tip (because we all knew they had $ with their Land Rovrs and ridiculous “I’m rich but look like a disheveled mess”/completely yup-ified attire with always includes red pants or plaid shorts).

I was warned about the NY’ers and didn’t believe it. Until I was being screamed at because a woman told me I should be taking responsibility for the condition of the beach I had sold her a pass to. Really? Sorry lady, your botox’ed face is screaming injustice, but your ridiculously absurd demands scream “asshole”.

New York is pretty much the best city in North America, but I don’t understand why people move here right out of school with no money, skills or jobs. Just go live in San Fran or Scottsdale for a couple years while you get established. New York sucks when you’re poor anyway.

New York is pretty much the best city in North America, but I don’t understand why people move here right out of school with no money, skills or jobs. Just go live in San Fran or Scottsdale for a couple years while you get established. New York sucks when you’re poor anyway.

New York is pretty much the best city in North America, but I don’t understand why people move here right out of school with no money, skills or jobs. Just go live in San Fran or Scottsdale for a couple years while you get established. New York sucks when you’re poor anyway.

wow this does not make me want to move to new york,  which  has always been a dream of mine. guess ya’ll have too many ppl there anyways. dont get discouraged, things will work out and if not, chicago is still fucking cool

 Hells yes.  I have read many insightful and intelligent pieces on Thought Catalog–this is not one of them.  Grow up!  Life is hard these days…EVERYWHERE.  If you don’t like it here then get out…that’s what pisses off true new yorkers most–people like you who don’t appreciate it and think we’re all assholes.  We’re not by the way, we just don’t have the patience to listen to you bitch.

Just saying, as a hair stylist, your may have had that long of split ends and in order for your hair to grow and even be worth having they need to be gone. Get trims all the time if you’re growing your hair out – if you go as much as you should they will actually only be trims.

I’m sure your parents’ divorce really sucked, but… 

Oh fuck it. I’m not gonna do this. I don’t feel mean enough tonight. 

san fran or scottsdale??? that’s like saying “eat this baked potato, or this cat poop. same thing.” san fran prices are just as high as NYC.

but you’re so right: only move to NYC once you HAVE a job. or else you’ll find yourself in a pit of misery and despair

but you’re so right: only move to NYC once you HAVE a job. or else you’ll find yourself in a pit of misery and despair

Some of you guys are ass holes. No really, you’re ass holes.

She’s not talking shit about New York… she’s being honest about her experience in her first year living here. And everything she writes in this post is true. While we all think (because we all live here) that New York is the greatest city in the world and yadda yadda, you’re full of shit if you think it’s an easy transition or an affordable place to live. It’s also dirty and smelly. We pile trash on the sidewalks. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen urinating, defecating and vomiting on the sidewalks. Finding an apartment is hell, and everyone (even YOU, adament New York defender who can’t admit that even New York is flawed) knows that. Getting a job is hard. Meeting people is hard. Winters are hard (of course… not comparable to the Midwest, where she is from) and Summer is hot.

New York is beautiful and amazing and everything I ever wanted it to be, which is why I’m still here, paying insane rent prices and eating spaghetti for dinner 4 nights in a row when I’m waiting for my paycheck to come through. It’s why I pay 12.00 a pack for cigarettes, go on countless horrible dates, and pay 16.00 for some lettuce with vinagrette when eating out. I have cried on the subway, on the sidewalk, in the park, even to my old chiropractor once about just how much life fuckin sucked right then.

But we all know, eventually you’ll fall in love, eventually you’ll get a job, eventually you’ll settle into a great apartment, eventually you’ll find your niche and you’ll love it. And eventually you’ll find someone who will give you an awesome, affordable haircut (and maybe even take you to happy hour after).

All I’m saying is this: give the girl a break… she’s been here a year. Shit.

Some of you guys are ass holes. No really, you’re ass holes.

She’s not talking shit about New York… she’s being honest about her experience in her first year living here. And everything she writes in this post is true. While we all think (because we all live here) that New York is the greatest city in the world and yadda yadda, you’re full of shit if you think it’s an easy transition or an affordable place to live. It’s also dirty and smelly. We pile trash on the sidewalks. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen urinating, defecating and vomiting on the sidewalks. Finding an apartment is hell, and everyone (even YOU, adament New York defender who can’t admit that even New York is flawed) knows that. Getting a job is hard. Meeting people is hard. Winters are hard (of course… not comparable to the Midwest, where she is from) and Summer is hot.

New York is beautiful and amazing and everything I ever wanted it to be, which is why I’m still here, paying insane rent prices and eating spaghetti for dinner 4 nights in a row when I’m waiting for my paycheck to come through. It’s why I pay 12.00 a pack for cigarettes, go on countless horrible dates, and pay 16.00 for some lettuce with vinagrette when eating out. I have cried on the subway, on the sidewalk, in the park, even to my old chiropractor once about just how much life fuckin sucked right then.

But we all know, eventually you’ll fall in love, eventually you’ll get a job, eventually you’ll settle into a great apartment, eventually you’ll find your niche and you’ll love it. And eventually you’ll find someone who will give you an awesome, affordable haircut (and maybe even take you to happy hour after).

All I’m saying is this: give the girl a break… she’s been here a year. Shit.

Seriously, does no one proofread here?

This should be required reading for all young people looking to “make it big” in the city that never sleeps.  It never sleeps because of barking dogs and people playing christmas music at full blast.

Having experienced all of the above, one thing I can tell you is that IF you survive it all, you will learn that you can literally handle anything that comes your way in the future. And you will also learn that crying in public brings out the niceness in strangers (proof: free hat). Good luck, I promise it’s worth it…well, maybe not the Broker’s fees…but the rest of it…

At her, yes I am :P

Having just moved from Chicago to New York myself (month #3 y’all!) I can agree with #4 everything else should be pretty obvious going in.  I assume since you are trying to get into the fashion industry the experience is a little more extreme, but I hope you stuck it out because once you get the routine it only gets better.  Well the rats and roaches are still insanely huge but you get used to them.

Stereotypes.

This is one of the few articles I’ve read that’s actually not dissing any part of New York and people are STILL bitching about her just telling the truth? It’s like the college kids who complain about how the local bar smells like mildew all the time and has flat beer but when an outsiders says the same, they jump on the case and yell that that bar is their home! Don’t you dare complain about Club Mildew!

And side note for those who aren’t aspiring to be fashion writers, many won’t hire you until you actually move to New York, so this notion of already having a job by the time you get out there is moot. You’ll either have a place to stay and no job or vice versa. I’ve never heard anything to the contrary of a person who had the balls enough to go out and make the move on their own (without the help of their current employment company).

I did cry on the streets once but not because NYC was hurting me. It is a fact that I read in some other article about NY. You will always see a drunk New Yorker, a crazy one, a model, etc. and every now and then someone crying lol

Everyone knows it is not affordable, if you didn’t do your research before coming here, hello its your fault only and nobody elses and who moves to a city because of a friend who has a friend who has a friend…. anyway! Come on…. haha

NewYork’s always been my dream. I’m someone from some part of Asia who’s been to different parts of the US. But nowhere has caught my attention like NewYork does.

I’ve only stayed in NewYork for 2 months the longest and I wasn’t dead broke or anything. It IS an expensive city. I must say I fell in love with the personality of NewYork. It stands out to me. I know this sounds strange, but I love even its flaws – the rude people and their mocking jokes. Perhaps I’m used to their brashness; I’m from a (typically busy, impatient) city in Asia but strangely tho, I get amused by their behavior. Even when people are rude, they’re rude in such a…characteristic way. It just screams in yo’ face! city character to me. Haha yes, I probably am strange like that. But I’ve fallen in love with the distinct personalities of people there. They’re almost caricatures.

I wouldn’t ever go there if I didn’t have money / a secured job tho! Yep, NewYork ain’t for the poor. If you’re there, you’re either very poor on the streets or really rich.

Aside from that, reality is…you need to make SECURE plans before deciding on moving ANYWHERE. Like having a friend who recommends you ‘another friend’ a place in Vogue sounds pretty risky… I wouldn’t have jumped on that! I must say I’d relate – I’m interested in fashion journalism / blogging / photography. And it IS my dream to do so in NewYork as well. But it MAY only remain mon rêve.

I sort of have hopes to achieve it somehow…tho I intend to get a Master there, find a job based on my degree and perhaps achieve my dreams with fashion as a hobby and then who knows, it may just be more than my hobby.

I hope things eventually turn out well for you! x

Ok fine, NY isn’t easy but that’s the reason why it isn’t for everyone, you gotta have tough skin and that my friends is the rule for say… life maybe? There will be a difficult boss every now and then, the market will be tough, a teacher will, etc. and you just can’t go crying every time reality hits you in the face, its not like criminals attacked her, she just has had a terrible time finding a job and an apartment which is very likely if you move anywhere without a job. If everyone tells her “you poor thing” she will just keep digging in her sadness and blaming New York for her “failure” which isn’t so, its just a decision making thing, a result of bad planning if you ask me. Not because you saw it in a movie it means that it will happen to you. Sure if it does, you’ll be one of the few who can tell that story, but the truth is you HAVE to make it happen for you, and for that you have to believe it, work hard, man up! and lacking self confidence or hating how you look and everything and everyone around you WON’T get you there. This is the kind of advice she needs to get.

That’s the attitude!

Moved to London last year and could say much the same about jolly ole England. To sum it up – London isn’t a horrible place, but it is drastically incompatible with what I want and need out of a metropolis.

Very much loved the bitterness, loved the sincerity. Maybe its just the mood I’m in, but I dug it.

Correct, having the balls to go there is one thing, having them to stay is another thing. This coming from someone who moved here from Panama (not FL) and lived in every corner of the city because a broker wasnt’ an option and no one would lease an apartment to a 24 y/o with no credit history in the Country. Add to your worries having to find a sponsor for your visa! All the girl needs to do is believe in the choice she made, man up and go out there. If you want New York, you need to love it or else it will eat you alive.

You know, all of this is pretty true. But as corny as it may sound and I’m sure you hear it a lot, but it really does get better. Just hang in there, you’ll make it work.

I moved to Atlanta 4 years ago from a small town and have also tried to move to New York.  It’s a WHOLE different ballgame.  You can live in a nice place by yourself for $700/mo. in Atlanta.  With roommates, you’re looking at  $300/month.  And by Atlanta, I mean in the city, not the suburbs. You only have to show your paystubs and you never need a broker.  You will NOT get hired in New York if you don’t already live there.  When you look for a job, you have to be able to crash at a friends’ place and lie on your resume using his/her address and say you already live in New York.  And this is just at temp agencies.  The only way I can imagine getting a job in New York without living there is if I got transferred within the same company.  Getting a “career” in Atlanta is still very difficult, but you can easily get a “job” making $10-$12/hr and still be OK if you have roommates.  I love New York, and luckily I already know that I’ll need at least $5000K in savings just to get started.  It’s a wonderful place and I hope to make it up there one day.  But don’t assume that this is common knowledge and that it’s just as hard everywhere else because it’s not.

perhaps get a
job before you move, or save up some money before you move, or move in
with friends (on the couch or in a sublet room) until you get a place of
your own.

also maybe quit smoking and stop drinking at bars quite so much, there, that’s 40-50 bucks saved every week. if you’re thinking of moving to a new expensive city with no job and no apartment lined up and student loans to pay and credit card debt up your ass already, well, that’s a shitty idea, so no wonder it sucks so hard once you do it.

people need to have common sense. life is not that expensive here if you concentrate on living in a reasonable way.
learn how to cook: hangover bagels are cheaper at home than the deli. take the train instead of cabs. stop smoking/binge
drinking/partying so much because it’s expensive! or at least bring a flask. and live in the outer boroughs. if you do these things, you can live
for exactly the same kind of money as you do in chicago or any other large
midwestern city. not everyone in nyc is a mega rich person, the majority are far from it.

No here is the real secret no one tells you:

The most ambitious people from all countries in the world dream of going to New York to make it.
There is a little bit of competition. How did you not know this?

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Martha, why are you still talking?

Ew. You’ve seen people defecate in the street? I’ve been here 7 years and have never seen that .

Did you miss the part where she says “my roommate Brittany”?

I liked this article, I thought it was interesting. Please write more!

I liked this article, I thought it was interesting. Please write more!

I liked this article, I thought it was interesting. Please write more!

I liked this article, I thought it was interesting. Please write more!

I saw one person pooping in a flower pot. I saw another person pooping in her own pants. On my way to brunch. In the UWS. And yeah, I still love New York.

I saw one person pooping in a flower pot. I saw another person pooping in her own pants. On my way to brunch. In the UWS. And yeah, I still love New York.

I saw one person pooping in a flower pot. I saw another person pooping in her own pants. On my way to brunch. In the UWS. And yeah, I still love New York.

Everyone is allowed to experience misery and commiserate on it. You don’t have to be living on the street or surviving NYC as a single mother to hit a personal rock bottom. I think Amanda’s ability to offer up her experiences via hilarious satire is commendable. I really don’t understand how all these offended New Yorkers don’t see the dramatization for the sake of quality story telling in this piece. Its funny, its relatable, and I thank my roommate for articulating the absurdity of our transition from Chicago to New York in such an entertaining piece… and for calling me out on crying in a movie theatre. Love ya, lady! 

You’re on point with all of these except #4, based on my experience. The first year *is* rough… but not for the reasons people would expect.

then all of MV stereotypes all of those yellow license plates. 

 That was a joke ;)

C’mon. Scottsdale?!

well see that’s what I thought too, but then I saw the rat tail she gave me.

well see that’s what I thought too, but then I saw the rat tail she gave me.

I want New York to hit rock bottom.

I want New York to hit rock bottom.

Yes

Seriously? Generalizations on an entire STATE of people is pretty unintelligent.  You’re the one working in Martha’s Vineyard…

Seriously? Generalizations on an entire STATE of people is pretty unintelligent.  You’re the one working in Martha’s Vineyard…

I am kind of sick of articles about “lies” people tell you about New York. Blah blah New York isn’t all it’s cracked up to be blah blah.

I don’t know — maybe you should have actually done your research before moving to the city?… I’m not sure why you wouldn’t realize that you need to be able to prove you have the means of paying for the apartment you’re about to rent… is that really a NYC specific thing??

New York is fantastic, not for everyone though.

I moved to NYC 6 months ago and this is the story of my life. My pixie cut is now a mullet because I can’t afford to cut it.

I moved to NYC 6 months ago and this is the story of my life. My pixie cut is now a mullet because I can’t afford to cut it.

I moved to NYC 6 months ago and this is the story of my life. My pixie cut is now a mullet because I can’t afford to cut it.

This article is hilarious. Martha I suggest you get a life, and a sense of humor.

This article is hilarious. Martha I suggest you get a life, and a sense of humor.

Forgot to add that I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else!

HOW IS THIS SATIRICAL, EXACTLY? 

I hate the topic of this article but her writing is good.  I think that makes it successful. 

I saw a woman on the subway in NYC lift up her skirt and take a shit in the middle of the subway floor, while cackling at everyone.

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

As a native new yorker, its always funny hearing about how tough it is to live here. 

These are situations that can happen anywhere.  Security checks for an apartment?  Why does that seem unheard of, I would have expected it but that is just me.  Entertaining article but a little over exagerrated.  We all have bad days.  On to the next.

i agree. there have been way too many of these articles on TC but i actually enjoyed this one.

Dear writers of Thought Catalog: PLEASE WRITE MORE ARTICLES ABOUT NYC! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT! IT’S JUST SO DAMN RELATABLE!

Dear writers of Thought Catalog: PLEASE WRITE MORE ARTICLES ABOUT NYC! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT! IT’S JUST SO DAMN RELATABLE!

New York is one of the best cities in the world, but it’s a hard as fuck place to move to from somewhere else. I’ve lived all over the world and have never had such a hard time renting a place as I have in NYC. Two landlords actually wouldn’t rent to me because I wasn’t American.

there’s a hair salon on the LES that specializes in short hair for girls, and if you make a good case or want a buzz cut he sometimes does it for free

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HAHAHA. Best!

…?!

Really enjoyed this. I came to New York from the south and I’ll always remember the time I picked up a piece of paper a man had just dropped in the subway and handed it back to him, thinking it might be important. He bitterly told me I could have it because he didn’t need it anymore, i.e. HE WAS JUST TRYING TO LITTER IN PEACE, DAMMIT.

Hard world up hurr for a rul southern kinda gal.

Really enjoyed this. I came to New York from the south and I’ll always remember the time I picked up a piece of paper a man had just dropped in the subway and handed it back to him, thinking it might be important. He bitterly told me I could have it because he didn’t need it anymore, i.e. HE WAS JUST TRYING TO LITTER IN PEACE, DAMMIT.

Hard world up hurr for a rul southern kinda gal.

Really enjoyed this. I came to New York from the south and I’ll always remember the time I picked up a piece of paper a man had just dropped in the subway and handed it back to him, thinking it might be important. He bitterly told me I could have it because he didn’t need it anymore, i.e. HE WAS JUST TRYING TO LITTER IN PEACE, DAMMIT.

Hard world up hurr for a rul southern kinda gal.

Saw someone taking a dump on the sidewalk a few months ago, while showing my father around my neighborhood. Good times.

….Does this mean that when I, a lifelong New Yorker, move away next summer, my life is going to get a lot EASIER?!

Perhaps you’ve already established a jaded relationship with the city, however I find that cynicism does not seem to be a fruitful approach. 

I honestly wish I had the heart to break it down for you, but honestly, it’s pretty darn clear that
     1. THE FINANCIAL CAPITAL OF THE STATES
     2. THE FASHION CAPITAL OF THE WORLD
     3. COMPARABLY THE HIGHEST REAL ESTATE IN THE WORLD
     4. IT’S NEW YORK CITY

Of course there is going to be competition, hardship, and compromise. That is expected. But, when people “fail” to mention these hurdles that each one of us has overcome, it’s because the end result is greater than words, it’s too powerful to understand. If you don’t wake up in the morning and say, I’m going to earn my dinner and earn next years breakfast, lunch, dinner, desert, drinks, and manicure too, then you probably shouldn’t be here.

    We are a different breed. A black screen is a sign that you should probably yelp the next movie theater. You’re friend telling you they’ll get you a job? Next time leave a lasting impression or replace them with people who will actually help you out. And apartments, brokers are like leeches. DO YOUR RESEARCH.

However it does get better, even if the tourists do walk incredibly slow in soho.