11 Things We Survived Together In 2011
1. Planking. It was intriguing for about two YouTube videos and maybe one public sighting. Planking became a way for anyone, anywhere to try to gain Internet notoriety and ultimately feel as if they were a part of something bigger. But we pushed through, even in the face of the subsequent stages of “owling” and the late 2011 move of “Tebowing.”
2. The Absence of Don Draper. Mad Men left us in 2010 with nothing in its place to adequately satiate that era’s drama. Amid the year long departure of our beloved advertising team, shows like Pan Am and Playboy Club tried to fill in the gap, but we just couldn’t let happen. Instead we showed our support through Mad Men themed parties and will be able to tell our kids how we lived through the year that will forever be left blank on the show’s IMDB page.
3. Celebrity Divorce. Although this is something that will never go away, 2011 proved to us that no one is safe. We’ll always remember where we were when we found out about Zooey and Ben. Even @mrskutcher is back on the market. This year, we saw the Hollywood marriage curse live up to its full and shocking potential. Not surprisingly though was that one couple that, like Lord Voldemort, “shall not be named” because we’ve already lived through enough this year to have to hear about them again.
4. Another Social Network. This year, the annual Facebook layout change caused the longest social network hysteria to date (an estimated 83 hours of “I’M OVER THIS” comments). So Google+ cried hello to the world like a newborn baby everyone wanted to hold. Some quickly embraced the idea of “circles” and “hangouts.” However, this circle of social media life didn’t even make it to the annual return of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. It’s still there… for now.
5. End of the World. Remember that time in May when we all really didn’t think the world was going to end? It was a time where we planned “end of the world as we know it” themed parties (which outdid last month’s Mad Men party, right?). Alas, the world stood its ground and we all lived to see another season of Jersey Shore. Harold Camping and friends have since retired from the world ending game but hey, here comes 2012!
6. Kale. This little green stuff sure tried to become a food staple for us this year. Maybe I’m not foodie enough but I thought this was a cousin to seaweed when I first heard of it. Kale in all its dark greenery was the salad to order this year. However, we maneuvered through these leafy waters together and were able to return to our faithful iceberg and spring mix friends in the end.
7. Pitbull. There was a point this year whenever you would turn on the radio that Pitbull’s voice was the only thing you would hear. We were tricked into listening to him many times as he targeted some of our favorite artists for feature spots. We did make it through his mayhem this year, but I shutter to think what’s ahead. So stand your guard and get those fingers ready to turn the radio station at a moment’s notice!
8. Fridays. Our favorite day of the work week was veiled with darkness over one song. One song to destroy them all. It’s even hard to forget about the song, because once you realize you forgot that video existed, it laughed in your face because you then ultimately remembered. Yes, the poor girl did face much ridicule, but no one puts Friday in a corner, ok?
9. Netflix Price Hikes. 2011 proved to further our financial crisis; especially after the announcement of Netflix doubling it’s prices. The company even broke into two separate entities where the consumer was forced to have two separate queues. The new queue, Quickster.com, though, was able to live up to its name and was swiftly eliminated due to public force. So congrats guys! We were able to come together and have one queue, just like Jesus wanted.
10. Coconut Water. This has always been around as a source of ultimate hydration but this year Rihanna had to endorse it and things got pretty serious. We all had to forge a relationship with this drink, and were subjected to many arguments over which brand is the best. However, Vitamin Water isn’t going down without a fight, so we may see the light at the end of this tunnel after all.
11. Pro Sports lockout. The NFL toyed with our emotions until the last second but the NBA didn’t budge when it came time for a season opener. Who cares that they are arguing over salary raises, give me pro sports or give me death! However, the NBA is on its lucrative way of returning just shy of 2012. They might be hoping that since it’s Christmas we can just forgive and forget missing half a season, but we didn’t survive things like the tainting of Fridays and J-Lo marrying a Fiat for nothing!
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It was excruciating. I was so bored. All we did was hold the throttle and sit there. All the coffee in the world couldn’t have kept me aware and upbeat. I stared at my odometer. Miles passed so slowly while time raced on.
He holds my hand in his lap, looks me directly into the eyes and says, “I love you more than the amount of sperm a blue robin makes.”
Took my own braces off with nail clippers.