What’s Your Spirit Animal?
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Kelly lives in Olympia and works for K Records. She’s previously written for Vice, the Chicago Reader, and was ...
I’m about to move cross-country to start a new job in like, oh, three weeks. I haven’t started packing yet, and whenever I linger too long on the thought of my upcoming journey, I go into some sort of weird, nervous coma and have to lay down and take a nap. One thing I have decided is that I need some sort of hat or piece of jewelry that will be my talisman for strength and the absence of rapes, flat tires, and expensive hotel rooms on my trip. Naturally, this further led to me just taking the next step and attempting to figure out what my spirit animal is. I got three-week old puppy. What did you get?
Oh, I should point out that it’s really important to follow this lady’s instructions exactly. So go ahead and get drunk and take all your teeth out, and then mush some fairies onto your webcam before you start. 
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