Watching People Watching People: Notes On Reading The Internet
PHASE 4: Hardcore Pornography
Need I say more? At this point, my day has either been completely derailed or a total success. Let me just say, I recently visited moviesand.com and watched a ten man Sasha Grey bukkake clip that takes place on a metal catwalk in what looks like a manufacturing warehouse. The cameraperson is a young woman who can’t stop talking the whole time. She’s saying things like: “Oh my God, you’re soooo hot.” Or: “Fuck, I can’t believe you. You’re so fucking nasty.” It’s kind of depressing and super hot at the same time. At this point in my hypothetical average internetting day, the government and/or corporate agent assigned to watch me watching the internet has locked the door, dropped his chino’s around his ankles and is brutally fucking a Kleenex box. And in this way we’re all kind of screwed.
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It’s the body’s way of saying, “Whoops! Time is up. You need to make a change.”
Your Cat Licking Your Face Immediately After It Eats Gross Food
If you look at the world as a reflection of your state of affairs, you will experience moments like these.
6. No, I TOTALLY wasn’t planning on eating that. I just brought it home for fun! I’m glad you enjoyed the rest of my celebratory steak dinner, though.