Viral Internet Detritus
Awhile ago, Miles Ross introduced me to YouTube user SMOKERSOFCIGARSPIPES, a strange man who seems to have gone somewhat viral in a slow, steady manner, over a number of years, maybe, achieving an impressive and what looks like a relatively loyal following. Here’s his gimmick (gets interesting around the one-minute mark):
Yeah. The guy just sits there smoking a pipe, listening to movie soundtracks and, among other badly-worded genres, “music of rock.” He has over 1,400 of these videos.
Dude is wearing… ski gloves in this one, and there’s some popping noise in the background, which, I guess, is Facebook chat (??). Either that or he’s adding intermittent popping sound effects to the video with some third-rate video editor. Also notice that the man is displaying a pipe in his breast pocket—what seems to be a corn cob pipe. Just sitting there…
The titles/descriptions of his videos add a vaguely confusing level of complexity.
Title: Pipe Tobaccos: Nouvelle Vague, Smoking, with Ripped Blue Jeans Levi’s 501; and ” ALONE “
Description: Pipe, smoking; with music of rock.
His user description says he’s from Argentina, which explains the rough grammar and overuse of colons and semi-colons, but I’m kind of confused about his titles. I’ve never been to Argentina, so I don’t know the traditions there, but why do his titles include a description of his clothing? Maybe it’s a custom among the elder men of the hill tribes of Argentina to, before entering conversation, make clear the other person is aware of the title of the song that’s currently playing in the background and what exactly their clothing looks like/ who it’s manufactured by.
The next video adds another cryptic layer to his internet persona, in which the man appears to be trying to communicate something:
And apparently he keeps tagging videos “leather pants,” and some bros into the sanctity of the leather pants category are getting pissed. From the comments section of his channel:
Gqtexan (2 days ago)
Dude, quit tagging your videos under “leather pants”. You smoking your pipe like a chimney has zero nothing to do with women wearing leather pants. Just stay out of tagging your videos in the wrong categories.
I don’t know what the hell SMOKERSOFCIGARSPIPES is doing. Makes me feel sort of resigned about life. He has over 350 subscribers to his weird channel. It’s engrossing because it’s hard to believe and next to impossible to understand. Kind of feel like he’s just a sideshow for people to watch and feel so mystified that they feel totally fascinated.
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When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
By John Howell
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.
By Ed Herro
I realize that one can’t turn heterosexual overnight, but I thought I’d no longer be having gay desires.