Top 10 Humans to Imagine Making Really Loud Whale Noises

gucci mane, sweet

laughed out loud ~5x while reading this, twice I think re brandon

when I try to imagine whale noises they never seem like they could be “shocking” or “scary” even if they were “really loud.” seems like whale noises are inherently “calming” or “comforting” like you would hear them in the background as you walk around an aquarium at night with someone you like and then you see two whales swimming together in a very large tank and it is like a metaphor (or a simile?) for your relationship and then you hold hands or something. also seems like an aquarium wouldn't have whales, they're too big and endangered, they'd probably have dolphins.

hehe

dude i just got home from community college and LOL'd in front of my mom as i ate rice trying not to spit it out. for each one i assume it is not going to be funny but then once i take a moment to visualize the whale noises it gets really funny.

i imagine everyone on set at harrison fords movie looking around at each other feeling extremely confused and awkward as to why this legendary actor is making scarily loud whale noises.

I once told a friend that I thought Lea Michele (of the popular show Glee) looked like a whale. The comment wasn't about her body, just that I thought Lea Michele's head looks exactly like a whale's head. My friend told me it was a 'crappy' way to describe Lea Michele then starting making allegations I only made the statement because Glee runs opposite a show I really like on the CW11.
It would help me out a lot of Lea Michele would make whale noises in a strip mall parking lot while she attempted to locate her car. I think I would probably earn me a pretty sincere apology from my friend.

There monomaniacal sonic waves can be heard underwater. Brad Pitt's especially.

i think last year in english class my journal entries had a style and tone that seems almost identical to this. i feel like i [something related to gaining a lot of money/internet fame].

This is a really funny article.

lol…

big time…

seems to be garnering ~paragraph long comments, sweet

Obama and Ben Blum sightings. Sweet.

The Oprah one was on point, she would really do that!

i think most people would say “i appreciate your humor”, but when reading i felt like you were appreciating my humor, which was so nice of you.

i thought that this was going to be an article about how the top 10 humans of the world are planning to get together and fantasize about making whale noises.

imagine a whale on mushrooms

i read the first three of these, googled 'whale sounds', then read the last seven to the blissed out healing tones of whalesounds. com. actually can't tell if the whales recorded are blissed out or severely depressed… seems like warbling/roaring/clomping/trumpeting are characteristic sounds of both emotional extremes. great job tao, this may be my favorite thing you've ever done… honestly feel like imagining famous people making extremely loud whale noises could help ~67% of people to feel happier/more content on a day to day basis/boost libido by a surprising degree.

1,2,3, and 7: Perfect Buildup.

omg community college

[...] out knowing who the top 10 humans to imagine making whale noises are.  Number 8 on the list is Andrew Bujalski.  I had no idea who he was, so it was difficult to imagine him making whale [...]

[…] And over at Thought  Catalogue, Tao Lin makes a list of people he imagines making whale […]