Top 10 Animals That Don’t Have Asses
It’s honestly unknown how the Alligator—a sluggishly powerful, obese, boring animal whose sole predatory strategy is to repeatedly “roll” in place after biting into something, it seems—came to be ranked #3 on this list, mostly because inquiries have not been made. Our shared email account contains an email with the subject line “Alligator?” from firstname.lastname@example.org, likely to express worry that the Alligator’s inexplicable placement might have caused the Amoeba to not rank this year (the Amoeba was #9 last year, garnering 3 energy drink sponsorships in Japan), but it remains unread and I think someone deleted it a few days ago, because I don’t remember seeing it recently.
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I realize that one can’t turn heterosexual overnight, but I thought I’d no longer be having gay desires.
Buying organic food is great when you want to feel good about yourself. Buying organic food when you want to save the world is another matter.
I was raised in privilege and I attack myself for this, questioning my right to be anything but happy.
What happens in a world where we don’t try to control one another, but live in harmonious acceptance of one another? Those in power are debunked. They will have to learn to be loved and revered for who they are, not what position they hold.