Target’s Holiday Hostess on Crack
We’re all familiar with Target’s above par TV commercials. There’s always some ubercatchy jingle with lots of bright colors and/or near subliminal message-type flashes and “dings!” mixed in throughout.
This holiday season, however, Target has definitely outdone itself by introducing what I’d like to call the “holiday hostess on crack.”
As you merrily watch the above clips in simultaneous shock and awe, I suggest focusing on her facial expressions. (The actress’s name is Maria Bamford. Some of you may know her from Comedy Central. Others might recognize her voice from CatDog, Daria, or Hey Arnold!)
I also suggest watching the commercials before having your Thanksgiving dinner. Watching them after may induce vomiting (out of excitement).
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Even as I write this now I am debating whether or not to erase it all together.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next lover, about my ex-lover, about how beautiful things were, how intense, how storybook, what a couple we were, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.
“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
I was 24 and, while not gay, ever since college I had been getting more attention from gay men than from heterosexual women.