Men’s Health Releases Unintentionally Hilarious Holiday Gift Guide
Men’s Health Subscriber: Babe, Men’s Health recommended that I get you a yogurt maker for Christmas. You know, cause you like food.
Girlfriend: Are you calling me fat, babe? Like, while our picture is getting taken?
Men’s Health Subscriber: No, babe.
Girlfriend: If you get me a yogurt maker for Christmas, I will seriously sob and then I’ll break up with you.
Men’s Health Subscriber: Fine, babe. Fine.
Men’s Health released a holiday gift guide in which they suggest buying your girlfriend crazy gifts such as a watch, candles, and a yogurt maker. To add to the hilarity, they’ve divided women into the categories: Entertainer, Girly girl, Geeky girl, Foodie, and Fit chick, so as not to confuse men into thinking that a woman can have diverse interests. The category, Entertainer, is clearly code for “Cheap Whore” as the gifts almost all pertain to drinking or having sex. The Foodie, meanwhile, is stuck with getting a cast-iron pan and popsicle molds for Christmas. And since she’s super feminine, the Girly girl is blessed with receiving Moroccan oil and this new-fangled invention called nail polish. Men’s Health subscribers should just ditch this advice and buy their girlfriend a new relationship. ZING.
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I would rather jump around and sweat my body to a Lady Gaga song. Yoga is so overrated.
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4. When I mentioned my idea of applying for a competitive writing fellowship in addition to graduate programs, and you told me I shouldn’t.
Women want to see you in social situations, outdoors doing manly activities, on a boat holding a fish, ANYTHING that indicates you’ve got a life.