Everyone I’ve Had Sex With

i had to press the space bar like twelve times just to get here, 'bodes [word meaning both positively and negatively, without being neutral]' seem 'initially [word combining prefix 'pre-' with 'assured']' that you have pop art underwear.
wonder if this is a 'response' to that 'whole shittalking situation at duke'.
at 'anonymous guy,' my favourite guy so far is the one who you went to summer session with. is 'anonymous guy' anonymous at his request or because you don't remember his name? i think these are all pseudonyms (hopefully?) so i don't know.
'jesus.' i am up to the second girl, this seems really confusing, i feel like saying 'i feel better about my 'sex life''. can someone make this a 'web' or 'infographic,' or something.
feel 'satisfied' with the self-imposed q+a, otherwise this comment would have been 'a lot longer, seriously.'
i think this was a good article, i hope you will write more.

read this on your blog a while.

good stuff.

Interesting

I read this on the Muumuu House site too I think (?). Well done. It's equal parts funny/disturbing/sad (to me anyways). I think the clinical sounding statistics at the end are what disturb me a little, but it's also my favorite part of the piece.

can i have the rights to make a movie?

this is an impressive list for a woman who weighs 150+ pounds. you must have a very nice personality. congratulations on both counts.

uh-mazing.

i like your username, guy.

sup mbfan1, i've weighed somewhere around 125-135 pounds from “Jake” until present. i am 5'7″. i guess my personality is debatable.

measurements at 'fat time' were 37-31-40
measurements at 'yesterday morning' were 34-27-36

no homo…

i don't know about shittalking at duke. wrote this in february 2009 in an attempt to get organized or something.

anonymous guy is anonymous because i don't remember his name. they're all pseudonyms.

thanks polar bro.

That was such an uninspiring set of sexual encounters, from the start to finish–well, sort of because I skipped the whole thing after the first 5. All the escapades were mundane and superficial, really, nothing to take from this long list of East Village type debauchery.

It was weird for me because I feel like I've had situations where a girl somewhere would say each one of these things about me. I felt like I was reading my ex-hook-ups/girlfriends thoughts or something. At least what I thought they should think afterward.

I feel creepy. Like I was metaphorically having sex with you through the piece. Like you drew me in, all innocent at the beginning, and half way through you grabbed my ass and tried to slide a finger in. I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. So there is that.

Probably not the intended reaction but this makes me wish we had a friend in common

would a guy get hated on for writing somethingl ike this… i'm gonna go w/ yes

Polar Bear,

You write like a parody of Tao Lin.

Very enjoyable read. Extremely. Very extremely.

I didn't know it was difficult for a woman who weighs 150+ pounds to find sexual partners. I am also 150+ pounds (and 5'10″) and have no trouble finding sexual partners. And surely I have a terrible personality.

you slept with 3 brothers? DANNNNG, girl.

This is fucking wonderful.

This is amazing. I keep a list of my hook-ups as well, although mine doesn't have summaries of the sexual partners. I want to add on to it after reading this

21 male partners, all of whom engaged in “intercourse” as it's commonly understood, often without condoms. End result, no STDs, no pregnancies.

Damn, you should spend some time in Vegas.

You should make a timeline to go along with this, showing overlaps and such. This was a very interesting read.

lol jesus what a whore

The Kind Of Life I Had — Stop Child Abuse NOW! since 1975 to 2000 from Donora, Pennsylvania to
Portland and Eugene, Oregon by a Survivor and Handicapped. Full details of magazines and newspaper
that was written about Paul M. McLaughlin from Donora, Pennsylvania. Maybe some education can be told about this short history. http://www.efn.org/~scan Stop Child Abuse NOW! scan@efn.org

Paul M. McLaughlin
Stop Child Abuse NOW!
298 Hunington Ave.
Eugene, Oregon 97405

Wauw, you put it out there!:D I mean the list, not the …well, that too, but you know what I mean…

Oral sex giving to receiving ratio: 9:3 (probably)

That's sad.

This kind of made me feel better about how I think about and have sex.

And glad I use condoms.

i fucking love you megan

Hey, thanks for the read.

I'd just like to clarify that one cannot catch or transmit AIDS, but rather HIV. AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrom) is a result of having HIV, a high HIV viral load, low white-blood (CD4 or T-Cell) cell count and opportunistic infections. No hating on your sex life, but just saying that it would be impossible for you to have AIDS if you didn't have HIV first. Almost 70% of new infections come from people who don't know that they have it. Here is a great webiste for more HIV related info: http://www.avert.org/

I might be coming to the party a little late, but I found this on StumbleUpon and enjoyed the read. Not to get all preachy, but AIDS (HIV) and pregnancy aren't the only bad things that can come from unprotected sex. At first, I honestly thought this was going to be a lessen in wrapping it up and at the end you were going to admit to contracting some horrible disease. I'm glad it wasn't that, but I find it kind of bad (irresponsible?) that you didn't even feel the need to maybe mention that having THAT much unprotected sex with guys you barely knew was extremely dangerous. Hell, that much unprotected sex with guys you know extremely well is dangerous.

I hope you've been tested, and not just for HIV. At this point, it's pretty much a guaranteed thing that you have at least one type of HPV, so I hope you're getting paps regularly.

“you didn't even feel the need to maybe mention that having THAT much unprotected sex with guys you barely knew was extremely dangerous.”

i feel like i wouldn't want to read something where the author gave a “this is extremely dangerous” disclaimer. i don't think i'd ever feel interested in writing a “cautionary” thing, seems like, tired and presumptuous. here are some other reasons why:

1. spelling out what “extremely dangerous” means would suggest i didn't view my audience as capable of knowing what risky behaviors are. if someone wrote an article called “I DRANK SNAKE VENOM!!!” i think it would be less interesting to follow it with “you can die from this, guys…” and more interesting to follow it with “an old man gave it to me in a vile for $12.”
2. i think it would be off-putting to read an article where the author is giving advice or precautions, especially with autobiographical things. especially-er with something as intimate as sex.
3. eating a lot of processed foods also seems “extremely dangerous.” it's “extremely dangerous” to get in a car. it's “extremely dangerous” to do anything, if you think about it. sex has felt like something i've liked to do, not always for reasons that made me feel good long-term, but it's something i've done and at least made my life more interesting, so i feel like it's better than other “extremely dangerous” things i've encountered (or at least, more interesting to write/read about).
4. i don't feel like i ever want to tell people what to do. i didn't write this to tell people what to do.

i hope your vagina is also free of diseases too, cool.

i like that idea, thanks joboo

sweet, jena :)

cool lb

cool comment interesting perspective on life dance like you've never been hurt love like no one's watching

interesting argument…interesting…i'm going to have to think more about this

;)

hi jeff, i'm glad you liked it

whoa, 15 likes on your comment…nice

yeah i think a guy would get hated on probably

lol, damn

glad you said that was complimentary…

13 likes on your comment, damn

cool aria k

hope you don't mind me responding to your comment 4 months late

that's what i feel like sex is like, i was trying to be honest. also, i live in baltimore with my dad (re “east village”)

sweeeeeet

go for it, carpe diem

hi wellreadwife, i like reading your comments, they're always thoughtful and personal. i'm glad you felt affected by the list. it was on muumuu first, yes.

24 likes on your comment, damn

damn

why is this my life…

tell me about it…

:)

i'm going to die…

oh my god

i'm really going to die

neways glad you liked the read

You mean… you don't like the idea of digitally violating me? It was actually quite enjoyable… stockholm syndrome?

Just stumbled this and glad I did. Makes me feel better about my 27 partners (started a little earlier, 16, and a little older, 24). I really enjoyed the tone, how you were able to take an objective perspective to what was probably a highly emotional time. Liberating. Cheers to great writing and picking up a new fan.

Just stumbled this and glad I did. Makes me feel better about my 27 partners (started a little earlier, 16, and a little older, 24). I really enjoyed the tone, how you were able to take an objective perspective to what was probably a highly emotional time. Liberating. Cheers to great writing and picking up a new fan.

This has definitely inspired me to write a similar list, and reminds me of when I was in middle and high school and my friends and I would on occasion tally up our “number”, that is how many boys we'd “hooked up” with. That generally meant just kissing at that time, but I really enjoyed your adult retrospective on your teen and early-twenty years through sexual encounters.

So, I'm just curious, why did you choose to not use protection for so many of these encounters?

This was awesome and makes me feel much about my errrr….bodycount. However this made me sad…

“Anonymous guy: We had sex at a friend’s party. I was drunk and I didn’t want to and I think I started crying and made him stop.”

“He had a foot fetish… I liked being with someone who had a foot fetish.” This is funny shit and makes me think that we could have something (; Also how the fuck did you have sex for 10 hrs continuous with someone, no offense but all of these things must be true: you have a loose pussy (you said you got fisted so that must be true), he has the endurance of Hercules and the inability to cum along with having the power that no other mortal man does by having a continuous hard on for 10 hours straight. Anyways funny post.

I really respect your honesty. I think it's wonderful for a woman to speak openly about her sexuality.

if i didn't go to college, i would think this was a complete load of bull. this isnt too far fetched.

rather dull story i might say, breezed through it, until i read the numbers at the end. which is what really caught my attention. then i reread it.

If you take the numbers… its about say… 1 sex partner every 2.5 months in the span of 5years. i assume u weren't the good girl~. which lead me to assume that u had many overlapping sexual relationships. which really disgusts me to the core, as you clearly point out, u don't use condoms most of the time. i'm left wondering how many guys you overlapped at once without protection?? and those guys just didnt know what they got themselves into. or did they???

lol jesus what a (probably sexist) idiot

LOL

Interesting statistics, I kind of want to make charts…

So I came across this article a few weeks ago, and it made me really upset in an-until-recently obscure way. I think I was(am) sad because, even though it's interesting and trendy and thought provoking and onandonandon to talk about sex and people having sex, isn't something so intimate supposed to be personal? These people were inside of you. Literally (and maybe metaphorically, too). You were inside of some of them. Of all the things that happen to us in our lives, shouldn't these be the types of things we keep sacred (and?)or between friends? I guess I just don't understand the motivation. To be “organized?” But then why publish it for the world? Now it's all just out there, floating in the cloud, and even though your name is all over, there's no ownership anymore. And I think that's sad. I want to give this back to you.

From the perspective of someone who's been involved in such encounters that others see as meaningless or wrong to some extent or another, these encounters teach you a lot about yourself and what you want. For me, this didn't work out too poorly because in all of my crazy promiscuity, I ended up meeting a really awesome guy who I've been seeing. I don't regret any of it because I feel like I learned a lot. And, maybe for some this detachment seems scary, but it's also freeing because, for me, it was something I needed to get out of my system. Society doesn't seem to approve of it all, but we're animals and it's life. I really respect the author for putting this out there for everyone to see. It's cool.

1. a. Some people honestly don't know (it seems you don't either, considering how you don't know the difference between AIDS and HIV in the article). b. You can put both, you know, on the snake example. You using this example also demonstrates that on some level you know what you're exposing yourself to. c. Writing an article with no rebuke implies endorsement.
2. a. I'm with you on the preachiness about sex, I don't care what other people do, but if you don't intend to give any message to the audience whatsoever, then I don't really understand why this isn't a journal entry. b. I'm confused- do you think authors don't give a point to what they write, that they shouldn't? Because almost 100% of the time, at least with good authors, there is certainly a message.
3. Eating processed foods, even a lot of them is not “extremely dangerous.” Getting into a car is not “extremely dangerous.” Having sex, even lots of it, is not “extremely dangerous.” That said, getting into a car drunk, in a snowstorm, at night, with no seatbelt, IS dangerous. The same way, having copious amounts of unprotected sex IS dangerous.
4. a. See #2. b. You, on some level, ARE telling people what to do, or at least justifying behaviors. Your example of the snake venom implies to me that you do know on some level how dangerous this can be. In the comments, many people are saying your track record makes them feel better about their own. You are essentially making it an acceptable behavior despite your proclamations that you aren't trying to send any message.

“something so intimate supposed to be personal?”
in the context you're using it, who or what is dictating “supposed?” why do you feel “supposed” to do anything? do you enjoy doing things you're “supposed” to do?

“shouldn't these be the types of things we keep sacred (and?)or between friends?”
i don't have a lot of friends

“I guess I just don't understand the motivation. To be 'organized?' But then why publish it for the world?”
i'd like to read “everyone i've had sex with” by other people. my friend and i used to sit in the mall and try to guess details about stranger's sexual lives because it was funny and interesting. since i was a kid i've been curious and aware of sexual feelings and urges as a part of my experience. no one, as far as i know, forced you to read it.

“Now it's all just out there, floating in the cloud, and even though your name is all over, there's no ownership anymore. And I think that's sad. I want to give this back to you.”
what is “the cloud” you're referring to? how do i not have ownership of my essay or my experiences? what exactly are you “giving back to me?” seems kind of condescending, why would you want to condescend to me? did the article offend or intimidate you or something? i've felt really happy since it's been published. i've started writing a lot more and been generally more motivated to pursue things i think i want. my life doesn't feel directionless anymore. i don't know. i feel like i don't get comments like these. what's your deal, what do you like to read normally?

sweet drs

why aren't you disgusted with the guys who didn't want to (and in some cases requested not to) wear condoms?

what is it exactly (other than my personal choice, and the choices of the men i've had sex with–choices which actually have nothing to do with you–to not wear condoms) that “disgusts you to the core” about “overlapping sexual relationships?”

i think everyone who knew me knew what they were getting into, as a lot of them were men i knew fairly well. there seems to be an inherent subtext with”having sex with a stranger,” in that both parties know they're about to have an intimate experience with someone they don't know intimately. i feel responsible for choices i've made, and i would hope everyone else on this list also feels responsible for themselves. if you'll note the statistics at the bottom of the list, i do not have any STDs or AIDs.

thanks jessica, sweet

lol

seems like my vagina has been the same degree of “looseness” since maybe the 3rd partner i've had (in that things stopped being uncomfortable/painful). i think we took breaks during the 10 hours and smoked a lot of weed. glad you thought it was funny.

i was on some form of contraceptive pretty consistently from ages 18-23. i used condoms sometimes. sometimes i didn't feel like it or didn't have them, but more often the guy didn't want to use one, seemed ambivalent about them, or we just mutually started having sex without one. if someone wanted to use one i would always use it.

oh sweet, glad you enjoyed it/felt inspired to write a similar list. it was fun to write. i used to keep a “kissing list” too.

damn, sweet naked&famous. hope you have enjoyed your more “spread out” time, heh heh.

i stopped after “some people honestly don't know”

why can't everyone just chill out…

why can't we all just…

damn, just read “acceptable behavior” and “proclamations,” this comment is looking pretty serious at a glance…

you numbered and lettered your points, jesus, you must be really mad at me…

tell me about it…

i got married in vegas

Wow this thread has sparked a lot of conversation… I guess sex must be an interesting/provocative/compelling/challenging subject?

Apparently you cannot recognize mocking rhetorical strategy (in case you still don't get it, I was continuing the pattern left by you and the person you responded to), nor accept any argument that may be taken as too “serious” or verbose in regards to copious amounts of unprotected sex.

You are absolutely right. I see no reason why legitimate criticism should not be deflected onto your sexual partners as a way of having to face it yourself. Your vicious responses to anyone and everyone who attempts to offer any kind of criticism or opinion other than your own are perfectly justified. Your deflective statement, “-choices which actually have nothing to do with you,” makes absolute sense- since when should people post articles entitled “Everyone I've Had Sex With”on the internet, on sites that are heavily commented on, have to bear the burden of everyone prying into your very private, personal life? Your experience of doing all this and not winding up with HIV or STDs should absolutely send a message that this is alright and that you are knowledgable and responsible. I think it's alright that you do this whilst, apparently, judging by the article and another string of comments I remember reading, you literally have no idea of the difference between HIV and AIDS, nor of the fact that a person with HIV can take months to show up as positive. It's a normal mistake to make, just because you're making a thinly veiled attempt to argue for many sexual partners doesn't mean you should have to know anything.

Your exact words upon learning actual facts about HIV and AIDS: “i'm going to die… oh my god. i'm really going to die”

I’m surprised that you don’t have AIDS, too.

You might as well have a mattress strapped to your back at this point.

and you might as well be a judgemental bitch

Do you lick Tao’s anus? If you do, does it taste like the food y’all eat, or does it taste like dookey? Let me know, hussy, okay?

99% sure megan hasn’t licked my anus

What about Colin?

I cried reading this.

It took me a while to decide whether I liked this. But once I decided I did, that will never change. Poignant. I appreciate such raw truth coming to the surface. I don’t think I even know how to be that real with myself…

I loved this, it’s cumulative effect, and the repetitions. Quite beautiful. I guess it’s an age thing (or a woman thing?) but being able to remember every person’s name is pretty amazing. Thanks for writing this.

This got me thinking..and counting..and pining.  

People like you inspire me to write the hard stuff. 

I’m so sorry your dad read this.
Awkward.

I loved this. Really brave of you. In the Romanian Explicative Dictionary, “nymphomaniac” can be used only when describing women. now isn’t that hypocrisy. 
this is a subject that will forever raise debates and people will always find reasons to hate on (naturally existent)multiple sexual relationships.
bottom line is, thumbs up, and be strong, your dad will try to forget this as much you do.

for fuck’s sake, please start using condoms…

hahaha

completely amazing that you wrote this..i decided to write my own after

you are the shit. i completely get it and this was so fucking refreshing to read as a female(who really likes to have sex..and reflect. and writing, that too!)the same age as you. kudos,girl.

love love love it. <3

what… a…. hoe….

Yeah. I respect your frankness and honesty, and you’re a great writer…but I couldn’t go on past the first 6 or so. I got this urge to just stop reading, I didn’t want to know any longer. I felt bad, I don’t know why but I did. 

If one of your goals was to show the sketchiness of constant gossiping, how people probably don’t really want to know what they tell themselves they want to know…well, mission accomplished. At least that’s just how I took the article.

Thanks for putting this out there nonetheless.

You should really use some protection if you’re going to be sexually active with so many partners. I’m not judging you, I’m saying this because the one guy I had unprotected sex with, who was only the third person I’d ever had sex with, gave me an STD, and now I am stuck with that for the rest of my life. I’m thankful it’s not something life-threatening like AIDS. Condoms may reduce the sensation, but they’re a hell of a lot safer. It’s not just about birth control.

way…to…miss the point…

well…. she didnt say anything about herpes….

this was incredibly real, brave, and insightful. i’d love to read more things like this. very inspiring. 

i think youve had a great sex life (btw im chelsea’s cousin idk if you know her shes another writer on here) but the main problem i have with your sex life is NOT enough orgasms or guys going down on you. I think giving a woman an orgasm from oral sex is THE sexiest thing ever and im sad it seems you havent had that really great guy who just wants you to come over and over.

I feel like i have had one of my first true loves who seems to be a similar personality type as you (i opened her up to the idea of sex and how beautiful and amazing it can be with another person but soon after she decided she wanted to see what it was like with a bunch of other people). anyway i think youve had some great experiences but i think the key to good sex is to be a giver.

I hope you continue to enjoy sex whether it has meaning behind it or not because it is a great thing!
Thank you for sharing, I wish i could share with you a list of my own (including one of chelsea’s friends haha) because i think you would find that we (and maybe all people our age) have had similar experiences.
PS. best orgasm technique you gotta stimulate the clit, anus, and AFE near the cervix all in a rhythmic motion. promise youll think youve never had an orgasm before (itll made your face go numb) becausee its so insane.

BLAKE MY BABY COUSIN GOD NOOOOOO. 

Cannot. Unsee.

Oh good god. This is unfortunate for you indeed

Shouldn’t we all just read the article take it as it is, then digest it. If you have seething cool to say about it, do so. If not, just go read something else and let this chick do what she wants to do. Smoke a bowl, drink a beer, whatever, just don’t worry about her. She’s doing her thing.

Respect and I’d love to hang out with you sometime author. Peace.

In doing my taxes I’ve looked at lots of receipts for purchases I’d forgotten about or things which, in hindsight, weren’t too important. Subway tickets, Subway sandwiches, gas fill-ups, toll receipts, alcohol, Twix, clothes, albums, more alcohol, coffee, and more alcohol (no receipts for illegal drugs). It doesn’t really matter what they’re all for; When I’m forced to look at a desk covered with little white receipts for purchases which I myself made using my hard-earned money, all of those cool, worthwhile items and fun, unforgettable events just become short all-caps summaries (HIGHLAND PARK WINGS) and monetary values ($10.00). They’re not wings anymore, just metadata. A desk filled with metadata, which at one point meant something, but are now relegated to How Much Did I Spend. I look at it all and can’t remember if any of those things I did were really worth it or not. Were those wings any good? Does it matter?

Did I need to spend so much? Would I be just as happy with fewer receipts? Am I smarter, more interesting, more fulfilled, more anything because of all the things I bought? I have no idea. Probably half of my purchases were forgettable, even if the receipt jogs my memory. Maybe I buy twice as much as I need to because only 50% of my purchases turn out to be worth a damn. Who knows. But when I do my taxes, I can’t felt but think, “Everything I do ultimately becomes a receipt.” Proof that it happened.

Because of the style in which you wrote this piece, it’s hard to gauge how much emotional output I’m looking at when I read it. I understand why you did that. But I feel like I’m looking at receipts. Just a list of receipts for tax purposes. Sex as a kind of business transaction, with quantifiable values and concise summaries. No money involved (you’re not a prostitute), but a trade nonetheless. Maybe it’s silly to think that sex can exist outside of our summarizing and evaluating way of living. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with sex being a business transaction. Maybe there is. Maybe sex becomes “cheap” in the same way that all of my coffee seems pointless when I look at dozens of Dunkin Donuts receipts. Or maybe it’s a well-needed reminder that if everything, even sex, is cheapened, nothing is cheapened.

This was a really fascinating read.

oh man

i don’t have herpes

i didn’t intend to show anything about gossiping, but think it’s interesting you thought that

thanks

sweet pj :)

thank you ana, felt nice reading your comment

sweet, thanks

hehe

um

have been with people who i think have done the things you’re talking about since writing this

or…um…

some people on the list seemed enthusiastic about going down on me too

it seemed notable sometimes, when someone wouldn’t want to do it to me or i wouldn’t orgasm, because of other dynamics in our relationship

felt endeared by your comment

happy there are guys like you in the world, good job

hi that guy

high fiving you

i like how you interpreted this. i saved my receipts from november – january in a bag so i could use them as memory guideposts for a story because i feel like i forget everything. looked at some of them the other day and remembered less than i thought i would. 

i think the emotional output you’re ‘looking at’ while reading it is probably the summation of emotions i included in the ‘what i felt after completing this list’ part/whatever emotions happen during the interaction of memory and writing. my memory seems pretty formless. i can try to classify it in terms of things like ‘everyone i’ve had sex with,’ ‘times i’ve eaten at taco bell,’ ’2006,’ ‘my parents,’ etc., but not without effort. so i guess this is just the product of me wanting to doing that, that’s why i wanted to write it. 

thank you for your comment, i liked reading it.

i’m sorry you got an std

thank you for your concern

sweet/thanks sufjansally

sometimes i use condoms

thank you, mike

they’re all fake names

damn

i’ve never licked tao’s anus

i wasn’t mocking the person i responded to.

it seemed like you wanted to argue with me about choices i make with my sex life or my writing. i argue with people i’m sexually involved with sometimes, though not usually about the sex itself, and i don’t like arguing with anyone about writing. i think i mostly felt exasperated by responding to negative comments when i wrote my last comment to you.

damn

i don’t know

i’ve never licked tao’s anus

guessing an anus would mostly taste salty or like the smell of sweat…or something…unless it was recently cleaned

i’ve had sex on things other than mattresses

think a bookbag has been/is/probably would ever be the most efficient thing to have strapped onto my back, but only for short periods of time

sweet, mike. happy you liked it. i used fake names.

I think I would enjoy reading “Times I’ve Eaten at Taco Bell” by Megan Boyle.

take it for what it is. we’re collective matters roaming the earth. it’s part of the human experience. if you’re taking it offensively then you’re missing the point of how great this is.

After reading this, I feel like I’ve been missing out in the 3 years I’ve started having sex. My total count is 2, which I guess isn’t bad since I am pretty picky. I like how open you are with mentioning how many guys (and girls) you have been with and the ‘after effects’ that came with it.  

lol

lol

Not judging, but this is probably a higher number than most people would care to admit given the timescale. Folks who start having sex late seem to do a clusterfuck till mid-late 20s while those who start around high school seem to taper out and get stuck in long term relationships. Not sure there’s a lesson in that, just saying. 

LMAO!

Since reading this I’ve been immediately interested in coming up with something similar for myself. I’m a bit younger than you and started a bit earlier, but my count is similar to yours and for years I’ve felt that I should be ashamed of the accumulating number of people with whom I’ve had sex. Recently I’ve started feeling more comfortable and more liberated. Your list was the icing on the cake. I’ve made some poor decisions in my life but am on the track to making better ones. There’s nothing I can do about what happened in my past, but I feel that organizing and sorting out what’s happened is a brilliant way to let it all out and be free again.

Thanks so much for your excellent writings.

I think the 2 extra girls count as sex. Unless you didn’t like it with them? It would be interesting to read about whether or not you think your experiences with them added something extra to your impressions.

WAIT! I read to the end and the last entry about “Kyle” seemed familiar…

SLUT.

You are a judge-y prude.  Feel free to join us in the real world, where people enjoy (and have) sex.

 Don’t ever, ever, ever feel ashamed, as long as you were doing what you wanted to do. I went through this, too, especially after one of my exes sexually assaulted me (like Justin in this post). But, I’ve since realized that everything I’ve done sexually (aside from the assault issue, obviously) was something I wanted to do at the time (even if it was a vague desire, I suppose), and even if it didn’t work out, those experiences made me who I am. And I like who I am–at least, as much as the average person likes herself. I make mistakes, as we all do, but I’m still young and I’ll be damned if I’m going to live my life in a bubble, feeling like I should behave a certain way because society deems it appropriate. Times, they are a-changin’, as Bob Dylan said, and people need to get with the times and stop being so judgmental. As long as you’re happy, Nikki, and doing what you want to do and being safe!, I hope that you never feel ashamed. I think it’s super hard to be a woman who is confident and comfortable in her sexuality, even with the openness and adventuresome nature of our generation. But, even if people aren’t talking about it, I promise you that sooo many people are doing it. I think it’s really brave of Megan to write this article, and I am so glad it is helping women embrace their sexuality.

The honesty is refreshing, this seems on average with most girls I know in college. You might want to use condoms more often, yes they suck, but you mentioned AIDS about 5 times in your writing  so there you go haha. Also try to not keep it in the family. 3 brothers? That is just all kinds of trouble. I do feel inspired to make one of these for myself although I don’t know if I’m ballsy enough to post it on TC haha

I read Thought Catalog all the time, but I’ve never felt compelled to comment.  I’m a little older than you with near identical numbers (though a lot of ‘foreign’ experience mixed in…as in international encounters) and used to keep a list of every guy I’d ever made out with.  The number was something like 90 before one of my ex-boyfriends deleted it from my computer.  Upon breaking up with him, I actually tried to write this weird vignette/memoir thing about EVERY SINGLE GUY I’D HOOKED UP WITH IN DETAIL.

Anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about your list and how I can relate to it.  I applaud you for putting this out in the open and making the rest of us feel normal, unashamed, and even a little proud.  Refreshing honesty, seriously. Thank you.

It doesn’t matter how many posts I read on TC … or how many times I’ve read this. It’s still just as awesome as the first time I’ve read it. 

Ha. Loser.

I found this interesting to read as someone who has never really seen having sex outside of a relationship as something I could/would want to do (dont have a problem with ther people doing it though) it’s ike looking into a different world….

I am young and this is an honest question: is 21 to many people? I’ve had sex with 2 people… I don’t know if that is a whole lot for a girl, or if 21 is normal, or 0 is normal, or… ? I would appreciate an answer, so I may adjust my sex habits. Thought Catalog is awesome, and reading a sex article just made it that much better.